Ask the Expert: Then Suddenly, He Was Gone & I Was Ghosted


Question:Dear Christine, I feel like I was ghosted and don't know how to deal. Let me explain how it all happened.

What if you both have not verbally broken up, but your ex boyfriend is back with his ex? This to me is a break up. But tell me what is wrong with this man to not even tell me we were done after 1 year? Oh and by the way he still calls me and I don't answer. Any explanation? I am confused. There was nothing wrong and we did not have a fight. All of a sudden there were no phone calls, no email, nothing over Christmas then boom I find out he is in Vegas with his ex. Did he purposely leave this (mine and his) relationship open just in case he and his ex could work out again (they have been doing this for 8 years)?

Sudden Break-Up

Answer: Dear SB,

Go with your first instinct, it is a break up. Though at times it may not 'look' like a break up or 'act' like a break up, it has all the characteristics of a break up. Basic respect is one of the essentials in a successful relationship. A sudden rendezvous in Vegas with your ex is clearly not showing basic respect for your current relationship. And the answer is yes, from what you have told me your relationship was kept open so that if a chance with his ex came up, he could justify taking advantage of it. Open relationships only work in theory, not in practice. I recognize there are always two sides to the story so in order to bring closure to this relationship and to help you move on, I recommend being open to his explanation whether you agree with it or not.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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