5 Ways to Remain Mindful in Online Dating


I know what you must be thinking. “Mindfulness and online dating? Is it even possible that the two concepts can exist together?” Well, my friend, like any other thing, it’s all in the way you approach it. If you’re considering online dating, or are already doing it, it is possible to both remain mindful and use online dating to find a great date or relationship. Let’s explore how. 1. Interact Authentically

I’ve written before about how to create an attractive, authentic online dating profile. If you haven’t already read the post, I definitely encourage you to do so by clicking here. When it comes to interacting with other users, try to do so with a certain level of self-awareness, intentionality and openness. To be mindful in your online dating journey, it’s important to understand the difference between being authentically friendly and falsely familiar.

2. Explore with Purpose

Instead of browsing profiles aimlessly, whether it is to pass the time or otherwise, I urge you to be purposeful each time you open the app or log onto the site. Setting the intention to explore only the profiles that really match what you’re looking for, and thinking twice about who you “like” or who you message, will help keep you on your true path to finding the right partner.

3. Limit Your Screen Time

We’ve all heard that spending too much time on social media can be detrimental to a person’s self-esteem, self-worth and overall life experience. The same can be said about dating apps and sites, especially as they become more and more popular with more profiles than ever before to flip through. Consider limiting your “screen time” each day to ensure you remain purposeful in your exploration and avoid “app addiction.”

4. Release Feelings of Rejection

When you see a profile that interest you and you send a like or shoot them a message, it’s natural to feel a sort of rush. There’s an exciting anticipation in waiting for a reply from someone you think you might be attracted to, but it’s important to remember to not become too invested this early on. I encourage you to not take any lack of reply as something personal. Don’t allow yourself to feel rejected, because you genuinely haven’t been. And, when you do take a conversation offline and meet for a date, try not to set expectations. Every experience offers the opportunity for learning and reflection.

5. Reflect Regularly & Honestly

Pausing every once in a while to check in with yourself and really evaluate where you’re at and where you want to go is crucial to living your truest, most authentic life. It’s also an incredibly effort when it comes to online dating. It can be easy to become passive and settle into a routine of logging on, checking profiles, sending a few messages and calling it a day. Remember to take time to reflect on the results you’re seeing (or not seeing), what’s working and what’s not. Be honest with yourself without being critical and commit to taking the steps you need in order to be successful in your journey.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

Making a Great First Impression: How to Capture His Interest


  During a recent seminar, I was asked a question that I’ve heard many times before from clients. The female guest asked, “How soon does a man know he’s interested?” And, you know what? It got me thinking. We often talk about how to approach the first date or how to know when it’s time to take the next step in a relationship, but something I’d like to focus on today is the importance, and impact, of the first impression. Because, dear friend, for better of for worse, on both a subconscious and conscious level, it takes far less time than you might think.

Psychologists have long studied the inner workings of first impressions, and have said that the average length of time it takes for a person to form a first impression is seven seconds. As you may have guessed, this tends to be how long it takes a man to know – at least initially – if he’s interested in a woman. Men, as you know, more than women, are visually motivated beings. It's hard-wired in their DNA. How a woman looks, how she’s dressed, how she carries herself and walks, even the sound of her voice – these are all things that men immediately notice and are drivers of attraction.

While there are absolutely other stages in a man deciding if he’s really interested in a woman, and if he’s interested in a relationship, this post’s going to focus on the very first encounterLet’s talk about how to make the most of a first impression and making sure those first seven seconds showcase your best, most authentic self. AND, keep in mind; I know it takes two to tango, so I am going to assume you are interested in him too. :)

I've purposely kept these bits of advice simple and to the point. The reason is I want them to work as Reminders. Sometimes we forget them and try to make things super complicated. So here goes...

1. Engage, Engage, Engage

When a handsome guy looks your way or a friend first introduces you to him, you’re faced with a decision. You’re probably familiar with the idea of “fight or flight,” right? Well, the same sort of thing happens when you meet someone new of the opposite sex. Your eyes meet his, you start to feel a little it nervous, and your mind (and body) quickly decide whether to engage or throw the walls up.

The next time you meet someone who piques your interest, be mindful of the two options in front of you. No matter how nervous or hesitant you might feel, I encourage you to take a deep breath, remain in the present and engage. It’s impossible to make an authentic first impression if you’re not present, and there’s no surer way to waste those precious first seven seconds than to block a new connection with security walls.

Let’s pretend you’re in line at your go-to coffee shop and the cute guy behind you flashes you a smile. He’s alone, has clearly noticed you and now you have a decision to make – do you grab your coffee and head towards the door or lean in and see where the moment takes you? You lean in, of course. You engage. Give him a big smile back, give him a friendly hello and if you are feeling open, simply ask him how his day is going. It might seem a little awkward at first, but the more you practice mindfully engaging the easier it will become. You are not asking him on a date or to exchange vows, you're just asking him how his day is going!

2. Be Mindful of Your Body Language

Let’s pretend you’re somewhere unfamiliar and need to ask directions from a stranger. You quickly scan the sidewalk around you and notice you have several people to choose from. How do you decide whom to walk up to? How do you know who will be most likely to stop and help you out? It all comes down to body language. We are naturally and emotionally conditioned to read and interpret the body language of those around us – sometimes it’s an intentional act of noticing and other times it’s more subconscious.

When meeting someone for the first time, or when someone’s making the decision of whether or not to approach you, your body language speaks volumes. If your arms or crossed, your hands are square on your hips or your face is buried in your phone, you’re sending an intense signal to “stay away.” On the other hand, if your body is relaxed, legs standing hip-width part, arms relaxed and head held high, you’re perceived as approachable and inviting. Be aware of how you hold your body and make subtle shifts to send the right message!

Now, let’s say that you’re having a conversation with a guy you’re interested in, maybe you’re sitting at the local pub or next to each other on the subway. Avoid crossing your arms, no matter how comfortable it might feel. Lean in and turn your body towards him. These subtle acts show that you’re fully engaged in the moment, receptive to what he has to say and will leave a positive impression in his mind. It’s often said that actions speak louder than words and, when it comes to the science of body language, it couldn’t be truer.

3. Disarm Him With Authenticity

In a world filled with high expectations, superficialities and constant competition, nothing is quite as attractive as authenticity. By now you know that I often work with my clients to build lives, and relationships, that are as genuine and authentic as possible. I, like many others, truly believe that you cannot experience a truly fulfilling life – or love – without first becoming your most authentic self.

And you know what? Authenticity is ridiculously attractive. Men love real women. A man loves a woman’s real body, real mind and real heart. From the first moment you meet a man, embrace your authentic self and allow your real self to shine.

Let’s pretend that you’re having the worst day ever and nothing seems to be going right. That is, of course, until you run into the new guy in the neighbourhood who’s caught your eye a couple times before. Maybe your hair has a mind of its own on this day or you’re running errands in sweats because your dryer’s on the fritz. So what? This guy – let’s call him Joel – is walking right up to you and this is your chance to finally meet him. When he asks how your day’s going, be honest! It’s OK to admit that you’re having one hell of a day, and that bumping into him as brightened your day. You don’t need to run and hide or, worse, pretend that everything’s completely perfect. I promise you that he’ll appreciate your honesty and flattered that he’s caught your eye.

4. Ask Him a Question. Seriously.

Anyone can give a compliment when meeting someone new, and while this is a great first step to get yourself comfortable with striking up conversations, there’s actually something even better you can do to make a lasting first impression. When meeting someone new, take note of your surroundings and of him. What’s he wearing? What’s he drinking? What’s he doing? Quickly taking inventory of all the topics at your disposal will help you start a conversation that is anything but generic.

When your first encounter goes from a simple “Hi, how are you?” to “I love your t-shirt, did you ever catch them live?” you immediately form a personal connection and open the door for real conversation. Asking a question, particularly about something that maybe other people don’t notice, will show him that you really do pay attention and are genuinely interested in learning more about him.

Plus, we all know that people tend to enjoy talking about themselves. When a man is interested in a woman, it’s his natural instinct to impress her. Asking a question and allowing him to entertain you with a response gives him a chance to do both of the above – talk about himself in a way that doesn’t come across as bragging and even potentially impress you with his answer.

5. Embrace a Certain Sense of Mystery

You’ve heard of “playing hard to get” and “leaving him wanting more,” right? While certainly these concepts can be taken to the extreme, to the point where they wind up backfiring, there is power in practicing a certain level of mystery. Men are programmed at a genetic level to “chase” and, believe it or not, enjoy the thrill of vying for a woman’s attention and the opportunity to learn more about her.

When getting to know somebody new, there’s no need to put it all on the table straight away. In fact, leaving a little bit to the imagination and keeping him wanting to know more about you can be incredibly effective in nabbing his interest. You can do this in the way that you dress, how you answer his questions in a very authentic way and even how you end your first encounter. Men are intrigued by the exciting and interesting things is going on in your life and "fitting him in" between work and other plans – just enough time to grab a drink and catch up until next time is a good thing. The only mistake I sometimes see women making here is they talk a lot about how crazy busy they are and how they don't have time for anything. Men are really only interested in when you are available, not the mountain of times you aren't.

A (somewhat) mysterious woman can be captivating, intriguing and very, very sexy to a man. The key is to not create a false persona, but to remain your authentic self and simply allow him to crave seeing you again and getting to know you better. Have fun with dating and getting to know someone. Sometimes we forget this!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

5 Tips for Crafting the Most Attractive Online Dating Profile Possible


When it comes to finding love in the world of online dating, there’s no magic potion or scientific equation to make it happen. But, with more than a third of today’s relationships starting online, there are certain things that have proven to increase your odds. To help find your ideal relationship, I want to talk to you about how to build the most attractive online dating profile possible so you can start connecting with more of the right guys now, no matter which online dating site or app you’re using. Let’s dig in!

1. Build a Great Gallery

When curating your photo gallery, keep in mind these two things: A picture speaks a thousand words, and men are very visual beings. Select a handful of photos that truly exemplify who you are and what you’re all about. Opt for action shots over selfies, and make sure you put your best foot – or, in this case, face – forward. That means smile! Your profile picture and gallery are what will catch a man’s eye and pique his interest in learning more about you.

2. Embrace Positivity & Authenticity

Like attracts like, so always remember to stay positive when writing your profile. Rather than listing what you’re not looking for in your next relationship, focus on the things you love and what you are seeking. And be honest! If you’re not looking for a serious relationship, don’t be afraid to say so. But, if you are looking for something long-term, don’t pretend you’re open to something more casual if you’re really not.

3. Keep it Short & Sweet

We just discussed how a picture is worth a thousand words, right? So, it’s probably no surprise that I would encourage you to keep your “About Me” short and sweet. When it comes to your bio, it’s about quality rather than quantity. Introduce yourself, tell the reader what makes you tick, but don’t feel as though you need to tell your entire life story or type until you hit the character limit. Write with your goal in mind – to show off your personality, pique a potential match’s interest and start a conversation.

4. Be Your Original Self

One of the benefits, and drawbacks, of online dating is the ability to filter and control what information you share, and what information you don’t. Anonymity can be an incredibly empowering thing, but remember that your ultimate objective is to start a conversation online so you can build a relationship offline. Let your authentic, original self shine in both your photos and your words. Never use language you wouldn’t actually use in real life and definitely don’t feel as though you need to create a “sexier” or “more interesting” persona in order to get messages. You are already amazing. All you’ve got to do is showcase it.

5. Spellcheck

Friend, you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve heard a client speak about an online profile they found attractive only to stumble across spelling and grammatical errors and be totally turned off. We’re all human, we all make mistakes and – quite honestly – typos happen to the best of us. Luckily, there’s this little thing called “Spellcheck” that I absolutely, 100%, completely recommend you use before you push your online dating profile live. Certain personalities tend to find spelling mistakes more distracting than others, but it’s a good rule of thumb to avoid ‘em whenever possible.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

The 4 Biggest Turn-Offs for Men & How to Avoid Them


If I were to ask you about your biggest turn-offs in a man, I bet you could quickly tell me the top three or even five. That’s because, by nature, both men and women are judgmental creatures. It’s easy for us to identify whether or not we’re attracted to someone within seconds, and also easy for us to recognize characteristics in others that we do and don’t like. But, what about when we reverse the roles? It’s not always as easy to recognize positive (and certainly negative) characteristics in ourselves. But, in a world we filled with right swipes and first impressions that take only moments to form, it’s more important than ever before to be mindful of our attitudes and behaviours – I mean, in all honesty, we are judging others so we can't expect not to be judged ourselves! (I know, it's the unfortunate reality. :)) So, friends, let’s take this opportunity to do exactly that. In this post, I want to talk to you about the four biggest turn-offs for men and how you can work to avoid them....if you choose.


Jealousy is a key cause of arguments, dissatisfaction and discomfort in relationships, so it only makes sense that the little green monster would be a top turn off when it comes to dating. When you’re out on a date and your guy catches you giving the stink eye to another woman passing by, or pressing him on his relationship with a female friend or even past relationship, it throws up a red flag. Men seek confidence and self-assuredness in a partner, while jealousy showcases the opposite.

If insecure feelings start to set in, take pause and remind yourself that you are a total catch. You have so many amazing, positive and attention-worthy attributes so let yourself shine by not comparing yourself to others.


Believe it or not, nagging isn’t something that happens with “old married couples.” Seemingly small comments can pick away at anyone, particularly a man trying to win your heart. Reminding him of a tendency to forget things or making a slight about his style, choice of food, condition of his car or anything else can quickly diminish your star qualities. Nobody wants to feel “less than” or as though they’re not capable.

If and when you’re tempted to nag, ask yourself if it’s truly that important. There’s a difference between forgetting to signal when changing lanes and wanting to enjoy some fries with dinner instead of his usual salad. The first is a safety concern and may in fact be valid. The second is an adult choice he is making. Can you imagine if he told you to get the salad?! Reflect on that for a moment, haha, so don't do it to him. My advice to you would be to voice valid, meaningful concerns and to learn to shake off the rest.


We all want to feel important, interesting and share our opinions, stories and dreams. But, in dating just as in relationships, it’s important to both talk and listen. According to men, a striking imbalance in this department is a major turn-off. Coming across as overly self-centered on a date sets the tone for the future relationship and can say, “It’s all about me” even if you don’t realize it. Practice self-love and showing appreciation for who you are and what you do is never a bad thing, but remember to keep things balanced and allow your guy his time to shine.

Next time you’re on a date, why not use the opportunity to practice your active listening skills? Ask plenty of open-ended questions, show genuine interest in your partner’s responses and you’ll be amazed at how the conversation seems to flow. Sometimes it is just our nerves that have us be self-centered, and not a reflection of who we actually are. Be aware of this.


Over-the-top enthusiasm can be tiring, but nothing leaves a bad taste quite like negativity. As human beings, we all have our negative moments. It’s only natural and, in moderation, it’s totally fine. However, if you spend all your time together talking about how awful your day was, how much your sister annoys you, how much you hate online dating, how disappointing the restaurant is or (worse) projecting negativity onto your date, the spark is bound to fade. And, friend, I get it, we live in stressful times and sometimes we need to vent. I would encourage you, however, to find another outlet and avoid using your date as an opportunity to get a tough day off of your chest.

Consider downloading a self-guided meditation app or carving out a half hour to listen to music and read a book at the end of your day. Maybe there is a friend you can call to vent about your day before you go on your date? Use the time before a date to decompress, get in the right mindset and shed any negative feelings and thoughts that might have built up in the hours before. Set the intention to enter into the evening with a positive attitude and to enjoy yourself. Then, let it happen!

Like what you are reading and want to know more about working one on one with me? Contact me for a free 20-minute coaching call.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

Soulmates vs. Twin flames: The Differences You Need To Know


Have you ever been in a relationship that seemed to get so serious, so deep and so real so fast, that it was almost as if reality couldn’t keep up? Maybe you were planning how you’d decorate your shared home a week into your relationship. Perhaps you were thinking of excuses to call into work sick or skip out on plans with friends, all so you could spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with your newfound partner. If you have ever experienced anything like this in a new relationship, Matt Kahn shares that it was, and is, most likely a twin flame situation. Now, if you’ve never heard of the term “twin flame” you’re not alone. It’s a widely discussed, and often debated, term in the realm of spirituality but hasn’t quite made its way to the mainstream. At least, not to the same extent as its “soulmate” counterpart. That’s why I thought that it would make for an interesting blog and newsletter topic this month. So, keep on reading to learn the differences between what makes a soulmate relationship, or soul contract, and what makes one a twin flame. If, at the end, you’d like to learn even more, I highly recommend watching this video by spiritual thought leader, Matt Kahn.

First, let’s continue to talk about what exactly makes a relationship a twin flame relationship. Then we’ll move into soulmates.

Twin flame relationships can usually be described as fast burning, fast tracked and almost chaotic in the way that the relationship quickly becomes all encompassing. Almost right off the bat, you find yourself getting really deep and really serious with your partner – even if you’ve only seen each other a few times. You make plans for the future, even though your friends and family can’t believe you’re already getting so serious. The thing is, you’re making those plans because your own soul knows that this relationship can help you evolve. This relationship is happening because your soul (and likely your partner’s) isn’t truly ready for your soulmate just yet.

While twin flame relationships can be fiercely fun, incredibly romantic and life altering, they’re not entirely realistic. In fact, they are usually filled with volatility, hostility and drama. That same intense energy that you feel in the good times fuels the bad times tenfold. It’s this intensity that often, understandably, leads people to mistake twin flames for soulmates. However, the intensity is too great to be sustainable and will often, almost inevitably, lead to destruction.  Something to note, however, is that twin flames can become soulmates and sometimes do. I will seriously stress that “sometimes”, though, as more often than not these types of relationships go the other way.

Soulmate relationships, on the near opposite end of the spectrum to twin flame; can be looked at as both partners becoming the living embodiments of their highest potential. This, then, allows them to manifest an equal counterpart. You are with each other because you are at a level that you are ready for each other. It’s way more relaxed, easier, more balanced and everything falls into place. Sure, you still have arguments and disagreements but there is a fundamental difference in how you grow together. You grow in balance to one another and arguments, for the most part, really just solve themselves. You don’t hold onto things to use against one another, you know that your love is more important and more valuable than building a stockpile of comebacks for your next debate. The friction that sometimes rears its head in a soulmate relationship works itself our naturally – resolution is never forced.

In describing both types of relationships, something that I truly want to stress is something that Matt also speaks to near the end of his video talk. When it comes to mental, verbal, emotional, physical or any other form of abuse in a relationship, there is no such thing as working on it or accepting it for what it is. In a soul contract where there is toxicity, you owe it to yourself to put yourself anywhere but there. He urges his listeners to not get caught up in the feeling of there only being “one” soulmate for them. There are many soulmates and twin flames awaiting you in the world, and you will never deserve toxicity.

I encourage you to take some time to look at past relationships (or even current ones!) that were particularly intense. It's more than likely, it was a twin flame relationship. Reflect on what the lesson was for you. What did you learn from that twin flame? I have come to believe twin flame relationships are honestly your training ground for soulmate relationships.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

Why Some Men Step Up Their Game to Find Love, and Others Do Not


We’ve all seen a romantic comedy in which the male lead had to take drastic measures to win the attention and affection of his female counterpart. And, while some examples are far more extreme than others, like pretending to be far more well off than you actually are or faking an exotic accent when you’re really just from down the street, there is some truth to the idea of some men needing to “step up” their game to gain the attention, and date, some women. When it comes to men seeking out relationships, men often look for relationships (and women) that match where they are in their life right now. Women, on the other hand, often look for relationships that will bring them to where they want to be – whether it be tomorrow, the next day or the year after that. Men tend to be more rooted in the present, whereas women tend to be more rooted in the future. Now of course, this is a generalization and doesn't apply to all, but does to most.

Men are very clear on what and who they are, where they’re at and what they are capable of or interested in taking on at this point in their lives. For better or worse, they are more closely tied to reality when it comes to their physical and emotional capabilities. They know that in order to date a woman who will enable his development and realization of his full potential he’ll need to step up his game. 

All men make a choice.

Some men take on the challenge of stepping up in full force because, deep in their heart, they know they are ready to take their love life – and life in general – to the next level. They clean up the proverbial cobwebs in their life, step it up and pursue a woman who will challenge him to be the best version of himself on a continual basis. He thrives in this environment and so does she. They fully and completely accept each other where they are at and also want to encourage each other to be all they can be.

Other men know they are truly not ready for this next level of love or life and, therefore, continue in their current pattern and choose to date women and begin (or not begin) relationships that will not challenge him to evolve – at least not right now. The thought of dating a woman who is on an accelerated personal growth path just fills him with anxiety and insecurity so he opts out. He knows he needs to be with a woman who is not very interested in personal growth so that he can firmly stay in his comfort zone.

And you know what? Both paths are entirely acceptable and normal, because in either case the man knows what he is and isn’t ready for and isn’t pushing himself to experience something he cannot currently handle and process. Entering into a relationship that one is truly not ready for on a mental or emotional level can either spur someone on to evolve and become ready – or it can be dangerous and thrust that person into a situation and level of intensity they are not equipped to handle at this point in life. Each man, upon self-reflection, will know exactly what he is ready for.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

How to Strike up a Conversation with That Attractive Stranger


  I recently read an article on Mind Body Green that spoke about how there’s something about sitting across from an attractive stranger that makes us lose our minds. The author wrote about how someone can be the most confident, put-together person but as soon as it comes to talking to someone they find attractive they start to stumble over words, blush or just back out of the situation completely.

And, friend, it’s sort of true. I’ve seen it happen time after time and it’s something I regularly speak to my clients about. What is it about saying “hello” to that good looking guy at the coffee shop that’s really so terrifying?

In my experience, I’ve found that it comes down to two factors. The first is that you care about the outcome – the outcome that you don’t control. Striking up a chat with a gorgeous stranger is different than pitching a great idea to a client or presenting something to your boss. In those situations you sort of know what to expect and have had some time to prepare. In line waiting for your grande Americano is a whole other ball game.

The second is that you have no previous experience with this person to base your conversation off of. Are they single? Do they find youattractive? Are they funny? Easy to talk to? In a hurry? Who knows! It can be intimidating knowing where to start in a new conversation, with a new person, when it’s a total blank slate. BUT, it’s also pretty darn exciting and can potentially lead to an amazing connection. That’s why I’m challenging you to try it for yourself, even just once, so you can see how it could honestly change your dating life forever. Here’s how to do it:

1. Make Eye Contact

Yep, you’ve really just got to use your eyes and look at his for this one to work. Looking down at your phone or trying to check him out without him noticing isn’t going to get you anywhere. And, if I’m being totally honest, it could make you look a little creepy if you’re not especially skilled in covert surveillance. If you’re feeling him and want to chat, make eye contact and let him know!

2. Smile

Just like number one, this tip should be obvious but so often we forget that we have the power to make someone else smile just by doing it ourselves. A smile is warm, inviting and instantly puts the recipient at ease. Flash him a smile and open yourself up for one of you to say "hello". The worse that’ll happen is he says “hello” back and you both go on with your separate days. The best? Well, you could be swapping digits in a matter of moments and be all set up for a Thursday night date.

3. Compliment Him

Have you ever been out to dinner or at the mall when someone complimented something about you? It probably felt pretty good and made you instantly like the person even though you likely didn’t know each other. If you want the chance to speak with someone you’ve been admiring, go ahead and pay him a compliment. Something as simple as, “I really love your glasses. Do you mind me asking where they’re from?” can open the door to a great conversation. Be genuine and authentic in your compliment and deliver it with a smile.

4. Bond Over Something in Common

Again I’ll use the example of a coffee shop, but this tip works just about anywhere. Start a conversation about something you notice you have in common. Same backpack company? Same coffee? Is he holding a book you recently finished or have been dying to read? Talking about something that you have in common takes the pressure off a bit and makes the conversation about something other than him or you. Also, this is a good time to point out that you need to travel with your interests. Get those books out on the coffee table, wear that t-shirt from your favorite band or festival. Invite conversation about shared interests. Want more? Continue onto #5.

5. Try the 'ol, “Have I seen you here before?” Trick

There’s a reason why this pick up line is still one of the most popular today, and that’s because it works. Turn to him and ask, “I think I recognize you, have you been here before, your face is so familiar?” and away you go. Depending on the answer, you’ll have a few different ways to continue the conversation and things should flow naturally from there. At the very least, you will have helped yourself get past the "I don't talk to strangers and keep to myself" vibe. :)

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

How to Use Everyday Colour Theory to Take Your Love Life From 0 to 60


Everybody has a favourite colour. Whether you love how it looks on you, enjoy seeing it on the walls and furniture around your home, or simply feeldrawn to it for an inexplicable reason – you’re not alone! In fact, colour is incredibly powerful and has the ability to dramatically impact your mood, feelings, outlook and experiences. In today’s post, I’d like to chat with you about how you can even use colour theory to improve your love life. If you’re wondering, “How the heck can that be true?” I encourage you to keep reading! Step One: Identify Your Goal

The first step to applying colour theory to your love life, and life in general, is to realize what it is you’re looking to accomplish. Is your goal to boost your confidence on your next date? Is it to seem more approachable, more powerful or wiser? Or, are you looking for a way to create a more calming, love-inviting atmosphere in your home? Different goals call for different colours, and even different shades of colours, so identifying what it is you’re looking to accomplish is a hugely important step.

Step Two: Understand Which Colours Are For You

Like I mentioned, different objectives call for different colours. So, let’s talk about the colours you should consider for a few common goals. First up? Confidence! If you’re looking to not only make yourself feel more confident, but also to appear more confident to your date, then yellow might just be the hue for you. Yellow is a colour that we psychologically associate with optimism, high self-esteem, friendliness and confidence. While vibrant yellow may not “work” for everyone, chances are there’s a variation on yellow – say, mustard yellow or muted pastel – that will.

If you’d like to appear more feminine, nurturing or even sensual, then consider reaching for something in pink. Unlike its counterpart, red, pink tends to come across as a very approachable colour. While it may not be the best choice in a job interview or business meeting (blue would be a better choice there as it communicates intelligence and efficiency), it can work wonders on a date or even as an accent colour in a bedroom.

If the idea of dating feels slightly overwhelming and you’d like to create a calmer, more peaceful home environment for you – and potentially a future lover – then you may want to consider hues of green or orange. Green has calming, balancing and refreshing effects on a psychological level. Orange, similarly, has a calming and comforting effect. Like pink, it can also be associated with sensuality and passion!

Step Three: Inject These Colours Into Your Daily Life 

Feeling confident on a date is fantastic, but feeling confident on a daily basis? That’ll set you up for success time after time. Once you’ve established your goals and identified the colours that’ll help you achieve them, it’s time to inject these colours into your daily life.

I encourage you to do a little shopping to add more of the colour to your wardrobe. If you already have some of the shade in the mix, it’s time to bring those items to the front of your closet and be sure to wear those pieces more often! Also, consider bringing the colour – or colours – into your home for a more environmental and regular impact. Whether you choose to repaint your walls, add a few throw pillows or pick up a new piece of artwork for your favourite room – know that the change will almost immediately begin to impact your mindset in a positive way. Plus, when you’re at your home with a date or future partner, having what we’ll call your “power colour” around you will give you a fantastic boost of happiness and confidence. Your date is sure to take note!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

5 New Year's Resolution Ideas for Married Couples


The New Year is here and so are 365 more days and chances to live a happier, more fulfilling and more authentic life. For married couples, this sort of happiness often feels as though it depends on more than a single partner – it’s a joint effort to actively take steps towards improvement and happiness. In this post I’m sharing five New Year’s resolution ideas for married couples, so that you might be inspired to work together towards achieving something beautiful in 2015.

Couples Resolution 1: Do More Small Nice Things, Not Just on Special Days

This particular resolution is a highly effective one if you both vow to put in the work. You know how great you feel when you come home to the laundry put away or dinner ready on the table? Those small everyday acts of kindness have a much larger impact on your happiness and the health of your relationship.

This year, resolve to do more small nice things for one another – not just on birthdays, anniversaries or holidays! Putting away the dishes, doing the laundry, making the bed, cooking a meal or even pouring a glass of wine and putting on a movie are all small acts that will make you both feel more loved and happier.

Couples Resolution 2: Make More Physical Contact

Human touch is a transformative act, and I’m not just talking about sex. Holding your partner’s hand, giving them a neck massage after a long day at work, stroking their hair or even sitting with your hand on their leg are all physical acts of touch that aren’t necessarily sexual. Resolving to make more physical contact in 2015 will allow you to feel closer, communicate more regularly and feel a greater connection between the two of you. And yes, it will probably wind up encouraging you to spend more time in the bedroom…that brings us to the next resolution for couples!

Couples Resolution 3: Make Intimacy a Priority

A lack of physical intimacy in a romantic relationship can be incredibly harmful. Sex is a key component of a healthy adult marriage, and yet it often takes the back burner to a number of other things. This year, resolve to stop allowing long hours, fatigue or simply feeling “blah” to kibosh any possibility of physical intimacy. Many couples mind it helpful to schedule date nights and plan ahead, so don’t hesitate to do the same if busy schedules are often a problem.

Spending more time in the bedroom with your partner can lead to a stronger bond, increased individual confidence, heightened communication and a long-lasting bond between the two of you. Allowing yourself to sit on the couch and feel stressed after a long day at work offers none of the above benefits!

Couples Resolution 4: Argue More Effectively

Let’s be honest, all couples have arguments from time to time. It’s a natural part of partnership and can actually lead to a stronger relationship. However, how you argue makes all the difference and doing it the wrong way can have serious negative impacts on both you and your partner. This year, make arguing more effectively a priority – or communicating more effectively overall – and watch your relationship blossom.

When communicating, avoid playing the blame game. Use terms like, “I feel” and “When you X, I feel Y” instead of accusatory language – something I wrote about recently and encourage you to read more on. Practicing active listening and nipping problems in the bud instead of allowing them to fester will have you remembering 2015 as a very good year.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

How Small Comments Can Have Big Impact


One thing that women are really good at doing is changing, and in large part, our motivation to change comes from perceived criticism by those around us. Have you ever been told by a boyfriend that he didn’t like your absolute favorite shirt?

As much as you may have loved that shirt, most women would at least stop wearing it around him.

Why? Because for a woman our instinct is to adapt, and we view criticism as the invitation to do so…even if we reluctantly change, we often still change.

The masculine responds differently though.

Try to recall the last time that you criticized a man. Did he change his behavior right away? Likely not, and herein lies another difference between men and women.

As a woman, because we react to criticism in one way, we think that when we criticize a man he’ll react in the same way, by changing.

But guess what? He doesn’t.

He doesn’t change his behavior because he evaluates information in a totally different way than you do.

In the past, a woman’s very survival depended on her ability to adapt to constantly changing circumstances, so naturally we’ve become quite good at this.

A man will take your criticism and then evaluate whether or not there is any truth to it before ever acting on it.

And honestly, he may never act on it, because he may not see the effort required to change as worth the pay off.

But don’t worry, not all hope is lost!

What a man truly does respond to is your ability to appreciate him for who he is. We’ll learn more about how that is woven in and out of criticism.

In next weeks blog I’ll show you how you can give your man the appreciation he really wants and why your appreciation has the power to transform the way you relate to one another.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

How to Attract Men & Understand How to Harness the Power


Have you ever wondered why some women just seem to know how to attract men? Why it seems so easy and effortless for them, and why men just love being around them? It’s really not all that complicated to figure out what attracts men. You just need to know a little bit about the difference between masculine and feminine energy.

Just like a magnet requires both a positive and a negative polarity, in order to attract men, a woman needs to be able to provide what a man is missing. That missing thing that every man needs is feminine energy, and lucky for you, as a woman you have that in ample supply.

All women do.

In today’s world the distinction between masculine and feminine energy has become a lot less clear though. Our roles in society have changed considerably from even just 50 years ago.

Think about the classic Leave It To Beaver stereotype from the 50’s with June Cleaver, the queen of domestic bliss being the symbol of what it meant to be a woman. In that model, what attracted a man was a woman at home cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the home front while he went off to work.

We've come a long way since then and while June Cleaver may not seem very sexy or appealing to you as a woman, she did embody feminine energy in a lot of ways and it is worth looking at. To start with, she allowed herself to be taken care of by Ward, her husband. I don’t just mean financially either, she allowed him to be in control of various things when she’d say things like, ‘ Whatever you think is best Ward.’

By differing to him to "just take care of some decisions", she conveyed her trust in his judgment of the situation and allowed herself to be vulnerable enough to know that he would not do anything intentionally to hurt her or the boys. By being vulnerable, she could spend more time in her feminine, knowing that things were being taken care of. In no way was she unable to make the exact same decisions but the complaint I get from so many women unfortunately is, "I wish he would just take care of it so that I don't have to do everything!"

Now contrast that relationship of 50 years ago with one of today. So many of us women are building careers and being powerful in our work life and too often, this “take charge” attitude seeps into our relationships. We end up managing both home and work life with little room for femininity. We don't mean to and in our quiet moments, we often wish we could just defer to someone to "handle it". We truly want to rock that boardroom but be able to come home and be swept up by our man.

Think about how you go through your day and notice what you’re energy feels like when you’re working. Does it feel the same or different as when you are around men in a romantic context?

For many of us, we spend our time striving to attain goals or meet deadlines and when the workday ends we forgot to stop striving. So we go out on a date or we go home to our husbands and we’re still in strive mode.

What really attracts men is to be in swept up by your feminine energy.

He’s spent all day dealing with other men and being in his masculine energy, and he wants nothing more than to experience the refreshing change of scenery that being with you in your relaxed, colorful feminine energy provides. And the good news for you is that allowing yourself to step into your femininity is one hundred times more relaxing than trying to relax in your masculine energy.

Try this little experiment to see what I mean and watch what happens.

The next time you’re out on a date or with your husband, just try simply listening while he shares about his day.

Ask him how his day was and then just listen. Be yourself but the key here is that you are just listening.

Now before you think this is some sort of archaic backward approach, know that it’s intention is purely a chance for you to step out of action mode and into response mode. It’s an opportunity for you to step into your femininity and also an opportunity for the man who is sharing to actually get all his thoughts out. And not to worry, you can easily reverse this by asking him to "just listen" which creates the exact same opportunity for you to step into your feminine. (something that is very important but impossible when both the man and woman are in masculine, action mode)

You want to know what attracts men?

Believe me, one of the biggest gifts you can give to a man (and yourself!) is the gift of your feminine energy. Try it and see for yourself.

Let me know how it goes!

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Why You Should Find a Man Who Loves Your Butt


Last week I held an “Ask Me Anything About Men” event and those who were able to make it got a ton of their questions answered. As you know, I am committed to truth and authenticity whether you are searching for your partner or you are already in a relationship.

One event participant asked: How do I know if a guy is attracted to me?" 

My quick answer was:

Find a man who not only likes but LOVES your butt.

Find a man who not only likes but LOVES your butt.

I was met with a look of “huh?”

I then went on to explain that the difference between being with a man who loves your butt and one who just kind of likes your butt is night and day. When you are with the former, it gifts you with lots of freedom in self-expression and how you carry yourself. With the latter, there is this constant hamster wheel going through your head of “does my butt look too big? Does it wiggle too much? Does he notice that mark on my butt?” and so on and so on. It’s never-ending.

Then this participant enquired a bit further in asking: “But what if he is a legs or breast man, does he still have to love my butt?”

And my answer was, “Yes, absolutely. It doesn’t matter what body part preference he has, he still needs to love your butt.”

Over the years, I have had conversations with tons of men as well as happy couples that have further solidified this view. To be in a room full of men who are talking about women’s butts in a respectful way is actually really interesting.


Because every single man in the room has a different opinion on what the perfect butt looks like. They go into great detail covering every size and type of butt out there. They may even get into a semi-serious debate about it, but the point is, every man has a different opinion on what type of butt they like.

This is great news so right here and now, drop every single insecurity you have ever had about your butt! If you want to know more about this topic and many other (surprising) reasons men find you attractive, I recommend reading this book and celebrating your bod from head to toe: Making Sense of Men by Alison Armstrong


Look for confirmation of this in your own life. Think of relationships you have been in or men you have dated and ask yourself, on a scale of 1-10, how much did they love my butt? You could recall catching their eye quite a bit on your butt or things they may have said to you. Think about how you felt about yourself and how was your confidence level? Now contrast that with someone you dated who seemed indifferent or even not attracted to your butt. How was your confidence level with them?

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Body Language Attraction 101


Whether you consider yourself proficient at reading body language or someone who consistently doesn’t pick up hints, you will learn something new from these tips. When it comes to flirting and body language, author Rachel DeAlto does a great job in summing it up in her book, “Flirt Fearlessly”.  I recommend giving it a read to learn signs of attraction. She opens by saying, “Being able to read another’s nonverbal cues can save you a lot of time, and even prevent rejection. This interpretation can help you determine whether or not a touch is appropriate, if further conversations are worthwhile, or whether you should ask for a phone number or a date. There are certain things that men and women do differently in terms of body language, however, for the most part, the cues are quite similar.”

When you are assessing body language, don’t make any decisions based on just one. Look for clusters of signs.

Here are some gender-neutral signals of interest that Rachel describes in her book:

Squared off shoulders – if they are positioned so that it seems as if you are opening your hearts to each other, it is a sign that you are receptive and interested in hearing what they have to say. It says loud and clear, “I am listening, and I want to connect with you” – without your having to utter a syllable.

  • Leaning forward
  • Open and animated gestures
  • Lip Licking
  • Flared nostrils
  • Open arms
  • Mirroring – if they are in sync with your movements, they are interested
  • Pointy feet – if they are facing you, they are interested
  • Raised eyebrows – subtle but noticeable
  • Eye contact/Smiling
  • Dilated pupils
  • Preening
  • Laughter
  • Light touches
  • Head tilt – the classic come hither move

Here are some signs women give that Rachel describes in her book:

  • Hair twirling It can be a subconscious sign of nervousness, but it can also be a come-hither signal.
  • Crossed legs If she crosses her legs and her top leg points in your direction, she is interested. If the top leg points away, she might not be (or maybe she just had to switch legs to avoid a cramp…you’ll have to investigate a little further to find out).
  • Wandering fingers If a woman has a drink and she’s attracted to you, she may start to rub the bottom of the glass with her fingertips, or stroke the stem of the wine glass.
  • Touchy feely Especially from a woman, a touch can mean a lot. In a flirting situation, it is one of the most accurate signals that she’s interested.
  • Shoe dance Dangling her shoe off from her toes is a way of showing that she’s comfortable in the situation.

Here are some signs men give that Rachel describes in her book:

  • Guidance As you are walking together, he “guides” you by touching the small of your back or your elbow. It’s a mixture of “Back off, I’ve got her” to other guys, “I’m not going to lose sight of this one” to himself, and “I am going to protect you” to the girl
  • Hands on hips He is trying to accentuate his physical size and confidence (or build up his confidence).
  • Puffed up If he is standing with his muscles contracted and at full attention he is trying to impress you with his stature
  • Legs spread Whether you want it or not, he is sitting across from you giving you a crotch display to indicate what he has got to offer.
  • Tie stroking/hair smoothing/sock adjusting Guys preen too –  they are trying to look good for you because they are interested.
  • Eyebrow flash If a guy is interested he will lift his eyebrows and crinkle his forehead. Just for a quick instant, though.
  • Spread legs while standing If a guy is into you, he will make a stand. Literally. If he squares off to you while standing with his legs shoulder-width apart, he is looking to mate.

As Rachel reminds us, it’s not about judging the situation based on one single sign but rather a cluster of signs. I find watching body language to be fascinating so have fun the next time you are on a date or simply observing people in public.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

Making the Laws of Attraction Work for You


Depending on your experience and how you were introduced to the Laws of Attraction, you will either perk up and want to listen in or you roll your eyes when you hear the term. Many people were influenced by the film The Secret and took the Laws of Attraction to mean if you want a million dollars, you need to just envision it and it will appear. Even though this is far from the message of the Secret, it was still often interpreted this way. So when you are single, how can you incorporate the laws of attraction to attract men or attract women? You may briefly think I am going to teach some manipulative tactics but it is quite the opposite. I encourage you to work with the laws of attraction to attract your future relationship

How do you do this?

Well you need to create that feeling within yourself that you have when you are with your future partner. If you don’t know what that feeling is or it’s kind of blurry, now is the time to get super crystal clear. What you are doing is getting more familiar with what it is like to be around that person so when you meet him/her, you recognize this feeling.

I take all my coaching clients through extensive exercises around this as it is difficult to move forward with a dating plan if we aren’t crystal clear on who we are looking for. I shy away from encouraging my clients to write down exactly what he/she looks like. I want them to assume they will be attracted to their future partner and they will feel good about themselves around them. These two specific areas of focus are directly connected to feelings and not to lists on paper.

What attracts women and what attracts men are often the same thing. We are both looking for that feeling to arise where we feel good about ourselves when we are around the other. We feel attractive, we feel encouraged and we feel loved. The thing is, we don’t have to wait until we meet someone to have those feelings arise, we can practice feeling them and then just simply “recognize” them when our match appears in our life.

So for the next few weeks, I want you to play around with developing feelings within yourself that you may believe only exist within a relationship. Picture yourself with your future healthy relationship and really get in touch with what that feels like. Journal about it if you like. Meditate if that is better. Cultivate that feeling as you walk down the street of drive your car to work. Let thoughts take shape in your mind until you no longer feel you need to look at a list - all you have to do is sit quietly and focus on the attraction, encouragement and love you feel around your future partner. Then, return to that feeling as often as you like. Not only are you practicing the Laws of Attraction, you are also practicing being kinder to yourself and accessing a deeper connection with your desires.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?