My Experience as a Couple's Therapist

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In my little beehive creating connection

I promised to share some details about being a Couple’s Therapist at the festival in Portugal so here goes!

But first, did you complete your coaching exercise from last week? Just checking. :)

It took me a bit to locate where I was to meet the organizer in this mini-city but once I finally did, we were both very excited to have the Skype talks now be in real life! Each day in the area called “Liminal Village” had a different theme and I was going to be a part of the day they had themed:

Love, Pleasure and the Feminine

(when she told me this, I think my heart did an actual leap of joy as these are some of my favorite topics)

When the day came, I was standing at the back of the room during one of the first lectures when all of a sudden I was introduced to all 1000 people at once as “The Couple’s Therapist from Canada”. I waved and welcomed people to come and sign up for a private session. We had no idea if anyone actually would but to my delight, I booked all my available spots within about an hour. Felt awesome! The couples were mainly from Portugal, France or Germany, with a few from Canada and the US. One actually works very near my home in Toronto! They were mainly in their 20’s and 30’s and so open and curious about receiving guidance.

The adobe structure they had me working in felt a bit like a clay beehive. It was such a perfect place to work and I would lay out a sarong for all 3 of us to sit on. The conversations mainly started with asking the men what they wanted more of in the relationship.

This often took them by surprise but once they nestled in, they would often share things for the very first time and I could sense their partner’s eyes widening at times. Then it was the woman’s chance to speak about what she wanted more of and from there, I would weave back and forth teaching each of them more about each other. Often doing a bit of translation such as, “she is saying she needs a hug from you in the mornings and what she is asking for is connection” or “he has become resentful about fixing your computer all the time and what he is asking for is appreciation”.

And of course, at the end of each session,, I would have them give each other a big hug and a smooch to seal their commitment to improving their relationship. They often left glowing which was wonderful to see. In every moment, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be, helping the couples that needed me. It was very healing for myself too and I thought of David often. I really feel like he was giving me strength and guidance through it all.

COACHING EXERCISE FOR YOU

Identify where in your life you are blaming someone else for your unhappiness and allow yourself to see how much more power you would have if you took 100 percent responsibility. This doesn’t make the other person’s actions correct but what could open up if you really saw that you create your own happiness regardless of their actions? What actions can you take to reclaim your happiness?

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below. :)

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine