Like many of you, I consider myself to be a pretty intuitive person who can quickly pick up the "vibe" of someone and know where they are at. After all, I’ve made it my life’s work to help others achieve fulfillment and happiness, find authenticity in all pursuits and build rewarding relationships. I truly feel for my clients, empathize with wherever they may be in their lives and look to empower them to evolve. If you, yourself pick up on the energy of other people, you may know by now that we tend to be extra susceptible to a little something called “transfer negativity.” The term “transfer negativity” is something I’ve began calling the down, blue or generally crummy feeling that pops up after spending time with any person, or in any environment, that is highly critical or negative. While, over the years, I’ve learned techniques and practices to maintain my, what some may call empathic abilities while also maintaining a positive mind and spirit, it truly is something that comes with practice. Otherwise, you may feel your positivity overshadowed by negativity created and transferred by outside environments.
You may have heard others referring to themselves as "empaths" and this is just a fancy term for "easily pick up on the energies of others".
Whether this all brings to mind a hostile work environment, toxic friendship or the memories of a failed relationship, I promise that there are steps you can take to combat transfer negativity and get back to positive, uplifting thoughts.
1. If You Can Remove Yourself From the Environment, Do So
We’ve all experienced, or at least heard of, a job that just wasn’t the right fit. Maybe nobody ever replied to your sunny, “Good morning!” Perhaps you simply never clicked with your coworkers or were left hungering for greater fulfillment and meaning. The reality, while unfortunate, is that not every job is suited to every person – and sometimes, you’ll be happiest and healthiest to recognize a bad fit and pursue something greater. I know for myself, I have had to get better at recognizing where a positive attitude is not considered an asset and just move on.
Leaving a job, especially a long-term, secure job, can be a scary thought. Many people are creatures of habit and the idea of willfully walking away from security, stability and a scheduled paycheck takes guts. But, as I’m confident you’ll find out, it’s also worthwhile because for your next opportunity, you will be much more in tune with the importance of positivity in the workplace. If you’ll feel more comfortable job hunting prior to giving your notice, then cash in a few vacation days and hit the pavement with your resume in hand. You can do it. You deserve the job of your dreams.
2. Know That Your Friendship History Doesn’t Obligate A Future
Have you ever been hurt or disappointed by a friend, only to convince yourself that you need to make up because you’ve, “been friends forever?” While all relationships, romantic and otherwise, do have their ups and downs – it’s so important to take pause to reflect and ensure you really do experience more ups than downs. If a friendship isn’t mutually rewarding or leaves you feeling anything other than happiness, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship.
Who you were when you first became friends may be very different from who you are – who you both are – today. Time changes people, needs and desires. While you and your friend may have fulfilled each other back in the day, your individual goals and lifestyles may no longer be the same. Your mind, soul and future friendships will thank you for recognizing a toxic friendship and taking steps to recalibrate.
3. Recognize Your Power to Choose Positivity
While your environment and those around you can be two major drivers of negative thinking, it’s important to acknowledge and accept the power that you, yourself, have to block negativity out and practice positive thinking. Some find that reciting daily, positive affirmations helps to set the tone of the day and offers the opportunity for positive reinforcement throughout the day. Others regularly practice using positive language and uplifting words – not only when thinking to themselves, but also when in conversations with others.
A happy mindset and positive outlook are conscious choices that you are fully capable of making. When negativity starts to creep in, or when you feel drained at the end of listening to a negative rant or spending time in a gloomy situation, get yourself to a calming space and hit your internal “reset” button. Take some deep breaths and get yourself centered again.
4. Surround Yourself With Other Positive People
What do you do when you’ve removed yourself from a negative environment, stepped away from negative people and reset your outlook? You begin to actively seek out amazing environments and positive people. You’ll unknowingly begin to attract spectacular experiences and relationships into your life. Like attracts like, after all!
As you spend more time in better environments and with people who truly feed your soul, your protective negativity barrier will strengthen. You’ll most likely even end up inspiring and motivating others to live more positively – whether you realize it or not.
To your authenticity,