Ask the Expert: Short-Term Relationship Breakups


Question:Dear Christine,

Scenario: You're in a short-term relationship. Let's say you've been dating for a short period of time (about a month...4-6 dates).

You feel that its not the right situation for you and don't want to continue seeing this person. However, the other person seems to feel its right for them and wants to continue seeing you.

How do you end it graciously and safely with someone that you've been dating for only a short while, but don't want to continue dating?


Answer: Dear LW,

Solution: Think of it like removing a band-aid. Quickly. You'll be doing them a favor and allowing them to meet someone who is a better match.

It is clear you do not want to continue seeing this person and that is perfectly fine. If you have already tried hinting around the issue and it hasn't worked, you need to just be direct. Here's the recipe:

Start with a compliment, eg: You are a really fun person to hang out with Add the break-up, eg: But I just don't feel that "indescribable something" between us End with a compliment, eg: I want you to know that I've really enjoyed getting to know you and find you super interesting, especially the fact you...

The band-aid is now off and yes, without fail, their feelings are going to be hurt because, remember this is the first time they know you feel this way. Be very conscious of their feelings. Do not decide to hang out together for the rest of the evening, it's best to cut things short especially since you already know exactly how you feel.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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