Ask the Expert: I'm Not Being Pursued


Question:Dear Christine,

I have read dating advice from multiple sources that you (as the female) should wait for the guy to make a move or pursue you, to be sure that he is really into you. Also, that when you are just getting to know people, it is good to date a few people at once so that you keep perspective and don't get attached to the wrong person too soon. The problem is, no guy pursues me at all. Do I wait for the perfect guy to make a move? What can I do?

Not Being Pursued

Answer: Dear NBP,

You've got to get yourself out there! Ask yourself these questions, "What am I currently doing to attract the right guy into my life?", "Do I appear happy and approachable?", "What is my attitude toward men and dating right now - positive or cynical?", "Am I happy with my appearance right now?", "How self-confident do I feel?" Asking these types of questions will likely open your eyes to what is currently going on and highlight where you need to make some changes. Recognize where you may need to make some adjustments and do them! The key is to be happy and confident with yourself but recognize you would like to share your life with a partner. This attitude, coupled with a very consistent and proactive search, will bring the right guy into your life.

On days where you just don't feel like looking, I generally tell my clients to say, "I am open to him finding me."

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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