Ask the Expert: Should I Play The Field Or Flirt With One?


Question:Hi Christine, I have a question and it has to do with playing the field.

There is this guy that I'm quite interested in. We have just become friends and have been spending some time together. Currently our time together is relaxed and I have been working hard to keep it that way, while also subtly showing him slight tid bits of adoration. Now for the first time he & I and some mutual friends will be going out to a club together. It is my understanding that he has been picking up on some of my hints and has been reciprocating. Now I'm not too sure of how to behave on this outing. Do I continue playing the field, while also flirting with him? Or do I focus my attention on flirting with him? What is the protocol?

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely, SH

Answer: Dear SH,

Thank you for your question. My advice is to flirt with him for most of evening. I would make sure that you reach out and touch his hand or shoulder at some point while maintaining eye-contact (strong signal!). If the club is loud, leaning in to say something in his ear while your cheeks caress is a nice advance too. Don't go over the top, subtlety is key. You can certainly talk to other men but don't openly flirt with other men. Games are lame. If you do find yourself in a longer non-flirtatious conversation with a different guy, be sure to make eye contact with the guy you are interested in. The evening at the club is going to be a much more intense atmosphere so you can take a few more risks. Something about dancing and loud music can cause people to step a little further out of their comfort zone so this is going to work in your favor. It's all about sending enough signals so that he feels comfortable in asking you out - whether it happens that evening or shortly after. Have fun!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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