So you've made the decision, you're a good person, you have goals and direction, you have a loving heart and you want to share your life with someone else. There are so many theorists out there that say love comes when you least expect it. This can be true to a certain point but I guarantee if you spend every night on the couch with the remote, love won't find you. So let's talk about getting proactive about your love-life or as I like to say "give fate a little nudge". Friend, it's time to jumpstart your single life. First you need to clean house. By this I mean put pictures of exes, cd's made by exes, clothes worn by exes and file them under g for garbage or put them in a box in the back of your closet, sealed with a nice piece of duct tape. New energy is going to have a tough time coming into your life if you listen to his mix cd everyday on the way to work, keep her toothbrush in your cabinet or keep his old t-shirt under your pillow. Purge it all! A lot of times, people don't realize their exes energies are still around even if it's been years since they broke up.
Okay, so now that things are cleared out, get a pen and paper and take some time to spell out your romantic vision. I know it may sound cheesy but until you write it down on paper, people are often not very clear on what they are looking for. Write down your ideal life you have with your partner 5 years from now. What are you doing? How are you feeling? What are his/her strengths? What are their weaknesses? From that vision, highlight ten attributes of your ideal partner. Now pare that down to your favorite five attributes. Now pick only 2 attributes that you couldn't live without. This is your 'must have' reference list. Having 2 must-haves is not unreasonable when searching for a mate but having 10 is going to make things a lot more difficult.
Next is you want to tune into things in your life that make you've been doing alone. Have you been spending more time with the exercise tape than at the gym on the treadmill? When's the last time you took your favorite book to the coffee shop instead of your bed? Start by taking some of your private activities and making them public. This is a good warm-up in getting yourself out there in an indirect way while still doing the things you love.
Next, make a goal to do at least one thing a week to improve your love life. These may include signing up for a speed-dating event, creating an online profile, accepting an invitation to play on a co-ed sports team, or improving on your appearance and confidence in some way - maybe that simply means switching deodorants.
Finally, accept all invitations. Yes that means all of them. If friends or co-workers ask you out, go. People say to me, "oh but I know everyone there" or "my friends don't have any hot single friends". I say, look beyond that. What about when you stop in to get gas on your way to the pub? Or you stop in to get flowers for a friend's housewarming? Who is that cutie in aisle 4? What if your friend's cousin just got off the phone with her single friend who is moving to town next week? When you are on the proactive path - situations arise - you just never know so stop blocking them out.
And above all, resolve to look at the world as though there are an abundance of great people out there rather than assuming it's slim-pickings. Switch it on and get out there!
To your authenticity,