Question: Dear Christine,
After being in a long term relationship for 2 years and then taking a year to get over the breakup, I’m finally ready to get back out into the dating scene and want to meet someone serious. I’ve heard a lot about online dating, but just not sure if it’s for me? Do online dating sites really work, are there tips you can share for how to ensure success when filtering through the sea of weirdo’s and delinquents? Or are there other dating methods / services you would suggest? Is online dating right for me?
Many Thanks, Online Dating Skeptic
Answer: Dear Online Skeptic,
Despite our aversion, online dating is here to stay. When you’re single, it will serve you better to learn how to be a good and efficient online dater rather than ignoring it and wishing it would just go away. Online Dating is increasing in popularity every year. Experiencing success online is a science though and requires you to develop some new skills. No one goes online and experiences mountains of success right away. It requires a thoughtful strategy that minimizes frustration and increases effectiveness.
Here are a few small tips:
1. To get a really good feel for online dating, I suggest signing up on 3 websites for 90 days. At the end of the 90 days, you are either going to be in a successful relationship or you are going to really know which website works best for you and can drop the sites you aren’t enjoying as much.
2. When you are creating a profile, be honest but keep it short. Be honest about your goals – if you are looking for something serious, don’t shy away from coming right out and saying it in a positive and light way. Too often I see people wanting to be in a long-term, committed relationship but their profile says something like “oh, I’m just looking to meet new people”.
3. Don’t go on about what you ‘don’t’ want, only talk about what you do want and what you have to offer. Don’t write what you think people want to hear. When choosing your photos, don’t have more than 3 or 4 and make sure you include one that is a close-up of your face and one that is a full body shot.
4. When you are interacting with people online, follow your instincts. Let your creep-o-meter guide your decisions. Don’t feel bad about jumping to conclusions when all his photos are with other women or his profile contains a lot of sexual references.
There really are some great people looking for love online but part of the science is developing the patience to weed through the ‘no’s’.
To your authenticity,