Ask the Expert: I Keep Getting the Brush Off


Question:Hi Christine,

I think I've heard every "brush off" line known to man. What does this sound like to you? "Our personalities are somewhat different (even in spite of you overcoming your shyness) ... do you think you could stand me for a whole date?"

L. Catherine

Answer: Dear L. Catherine,

Sorry but yes, that is definitely a brush off line. It's right up there with "it's not you, it's me". What this person has done is the classic turnaround. They suggest a reason why they think they are not a good match, hoping you will agree, which allows them to feel less guilty for breaking things off or not going on a date. Their goal is for you to walk away feeling empowered for denying them, when in fact, they denied you. Hence the turnaround. I know it's tough to hear but this is my take.

It would be interesting to see why you are receiving so many "brush off" lines. I believe we always learn from these situations, really delve into the "why?" and start creating a more rewarding dating life. I happen to know a Dating Coach. :)

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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