Ask the Expert: Am I Date-able?


Question:Hi Christine,

I'm concerned about my 'dateability'. I'd really like to meet a great girl but I fear that some things in my life might be holding me back. Here's a summary:

I'm 36, 5'8", 150 pds, great physical shape but starting to go bald. I rent an apartment rather than owning a home. I attend University full-time, working on my 3rd degree. I want to get into medical school. I work and spend 4 months of the year in Arctic, a mining exploration company that I own. I wear glasses, have a slight stutter, and cannot maintain eye contact with someone in a conversation. I don't have one single friend in Calgary. I am being serious, not one, they have all either moved away or gotten married.

My car of 13 years has finally died and I now have to rely on Calgary transit to get around. I'm extremely honest and trustworthy, very neat and organized. I'm awesome with kids and I want to have my own. I don't and never have smoked. I don't do any drugs. I have a social drink occasionally.


Answer: Dear D,

I can understand why you might feel a bit frustrated. The way I see it is you have a lot to offer, you just need to tweak a few things. I would first ask that you begin to focus on the things you have and not the things you don't feel you have. If you take out all the minor and unimportant attributes you see as negative, your bio reads like this: Single Male, 36 yo, great physical shape, attending University and managing own business, honest, trustworthy, doesn't smoke, occasionally drinks and loves kids. Try not to be hard on yourself; there are lots of successful people who have difficulty maintaining eye contact - it's a common trait. There are also lots of successful people who choose city transit as a viable option. Hey, you're just being eco-friendly! You say you are away for 4 months of the year - this is not necessarily a negative. If you were in a serious relationship, she could come and visit you once a month and stay nearby - you could tour her around and it would be like an adventure. If visiting you is not an option, than there are lots of ways you can keep a temporarily long-distance relationship alive - not to worry. What counts is the fact you sound like a caring person who has goals and direction. So I suggest you kick your search into high gear by attending speed-dating events, putting up a profile online, and joining a local sport and social club. These sport clubs are always happy to have people on their spares list if you aren't able to commit to a league. You'll make some new friends as well!

Best of luck to you.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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