Where Is This Going?


Where Is This Going?  Have you found yourself asking this exact question?

Have you been dating someone for a certain period of time but have no idea where it's headed? A coaching client shared with me that she was 'dating' a guy but really didn't know much about him. They would meet up on weekends, go out together, whether it's drinks, dinner or dancing but they would never speak during the week. She knew a little bit about him and his past relationships but not very much. She wanted something more but didn't know how to go about it without feeling too pushy.

Because of her attraction to him, she felt that if she spoke up for what she really wanted (more communication during the week and a sense that this is headed somewhere), she might lose him. This is what women (and men) often do when they think they've met someone really great but don't want to lose them.

The problem? Well, for one, you are teaching them how to treat you by going along with what actually isn't okay with you. I highly suspect the guy my client is dating doesn't have any idea she'd like more than what he is currently providing because she says 'yes' every time he asks her out for a weekend activity.

The second problem I know happens is she starts to build resentment and starts feeling like he's taking advantage of her and her intentions to be in a real relationship. She feels let down and spends a lot of her time feeling nervous and unfulfilled.

What do I advise? Be open about what you want. Be open about what you love about spending time together and be clear on what you want more of. Don't pretend "everything's cool" when it's really not. It will create even more distance.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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