Travel

What You Can Learn by Traveling With Your Partner

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  Summer is finally here and that means vacation days, long weekends and (hopefully) a bit of travel. Whether you’re gearing up for a month-long adventure abroad or are looking ahead to a weekend escape to the cottage, travel can teach you a lot about yourself and your partner. Sometimes it tests you; many times it strengthens your bond and it near always reveals something new about your relationship. Here are some of my top reminders to pack along:

outside comfort zone
outside comfort zone

1. Breaking from routine reveals true personality traits

Alarm clocks, commutes and hectic evenings can steal the spontaneity out of even the most adventurous souls. Breaking from routine and familiar surroundings can reveal true, at-rest personality traits that may otherwise be tucked away during everyday life. You may be reminded of how funny or caring your partner is, or you may remember how messy and disorganized they are. The same can be said for what your partner may re-recognize in you. For better or worse, you’ll get to see each other in a more natural, at rest state than you have in a long time and have the opportunity to learn and grow away from the hustle and bustle.

compromise
compromise

2. How you travel reflects how you manage compromise

No matter where you go, it’s impossible to do absolutely everything you want to do in the time that you have. What you decide to do, and in what order, shows how you and your partner compromise and reflects the balance in your relationship. Do you put down your foot and insist on seeing your “must visit” attractions? Or, do you make a list of what you both would like to do and see where you can level out? Just as in a healthy relationship, travel requires a certain amount of give and take. You may be surprised at how well you manage compromise, or may realize you have a bit of work to do.

curveballs
curveballs

3. Life will throw you curveballs… and you can bet travel will too

Travel has its ups and downs just like life does. Missing a connection, delayed flights, overbooked hotels and misplacing keys or IDs can cause serious stress. Adjusting to different time zones and traveling through the night can also leave you feeling some major exhaustion. Watch to see how your partner, and how you, react to these situations. Try to exercise patience and understanding if and when things go awry. Feeling sluggish? Let your natural optimism shine and remind yourself that you are amazingly lucky to be able to travel with the one you love and that a little bit of jet lag now will be worth packing another day of memories into the trip. You can learn a lot about your partner by how they handle the same situations, too.

cultures
cultures

4. New cultures and experiences can reveal untapped passions

Experiencing Latin America for the first time may help you realize that your partner loves dancing, or that you have a thirst for experiencing more to life. Walking through art galleries and museums may awaken a passion for painting or photography, possibly a hobby you can share with your partner. As you travel and experience new things together, you’ll see your individual and collective tastes and interests evolve. Seeing new parts of the world and challenging yourself to step outside of your comfort zones keeps you both developing as people as well as a partnership. Do it as often as you can!

friendship core
friendship core

5. At the core of your relationship is a deep friendship

Nothing reminds couples of the fundamental friendship they share more than travel. Whether it’s making silly poses next to the British Guard or throwing back a cold one at a Munich beer hall, you’re there to enjoy each other’s company. And, most often, travel means that you’ll be out and about more than you’ll be at your hotel. So, while surely there will be some time for romance, there’s much more time to explore your intense friendship and just have fun.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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The Power of Travel & How it Helps You Grow

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While travel is often regarded as a fun way to escape everyday life and experience new things, the benefits it offers to your mind and soul reach far beyond just that. Travel can be a liberating experience; an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone and experience life as you never imagined. It can be a teaching experience – a chance to immerse yourself in a new culture or different way of life. It can also be an eye-opening experience and one that leads to great personal growth, change and even re-evaluation. Let’s look at just a few of the ways that travel is so powerful and how it can help you grow.

1. Strengthen (and Challenge) Your Relationship

We’ve all seen at least one movie or read one book in which a couple heads out on an adventure, only to wind up questioning everything about their bond along the way. In a sense this is true, as travel puts both partner outside of his or her comfort zone and challenges you both to experience different challenges, obstacles and joys. However, travel can be an excellent way to strengthen your relationship. You’ll have to work together to find your way, challenge yourselves to overcome language and cultural barriers and will have memories – good and bad – to look back on for the years to come.

2. Learn Patience, Understanding and Acceptance

Nothing teaches patience quite like exploration. You might find that you miss a bus, your train is delayed or your flight has been cancelled. Perhaps you’ll struggle reading a local map and take a while to make it to your dinner reservation or find your way back to where you’re staying. Depending on your travel destination, the situations will be different but the need for patience and understanding will remain the same.

To truly build your patience, understanding and appreciation I would encourage you to travel to somewhere that you do not speak the language. As a society, we’re generally very used to getting what we ask for. Experiencing difficulty communicating with words and having to rely on patience, understanding and acceptance will help you grow as a person and develop non-verbal communication skills like never before.

3. Change Your Perspective… or Get Some

How you view the world does impact how the world views you. Most often, our perspective on life and all that it encompasses is highly dependent on those we choose to surround ourselves with, our upbringing and our cultural experiences. To truly develop your own perspective, or break away from the routine and find some to begin with, I encourage you to travel.

Visiting a remote village in South Africa or a bustling street in Thailand will allow you to see how other people view the world, daily life and you. Watching people in routines similar to your own, but carried out in immensely different ways, is a highly rewarding experience. You’ll quickly learn how fortunate you are to have such easy access to things such as clean drinking water, delicious foods and even somewhat dependable public transportation.

4. Meeting new people!

Travel is a unique bonding experience. Chances are you’ll come across all sorts of people you would never have met in your everyday life. Travel has this fun ability to take different people from completely different upbringings, with totally different views, and create an incredible bond. This can be especially true when you choose to travel alone.

There are tons of travel tour groups that can create planned trips for small or large groups of people. There's also niche tour groups, but most commonly the groups are based on age. If you’re craving a change, are looking to do a little soul searching or just need to step outside of the norm – consider a group tour. I know that sometimes when I travel, I go partially with a group and then partially on my own. You'll walk away with spectacular memories, strong new friendships and immense personal growth. You may be surprised at the new friendships you build or even the opportunity to meet a new romantic partner. Truly, anything is possible!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
Click Here to Get Your FREE DATE COACH STARTER KIT!

P.S. The photo above is from a recent trip to Sedona. Isn't it beautiful? Be sure to follow me on Instagram for travel adventures, everyday words of advice and more.

My Experience as a Couple's Therapist

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In my little beehive creating connection

I promised to share some details about being a Couple’s Therapist at the festival in Portugal so here goes!

But first, did you complete your coaching exercise from last week? Just checking. :)

It took me a bit to locate where I was to meet the organizer in this mini-city but once I finally did, we were both very excited to have the Skype talks now be in real life! Each day in the area called “Liminal Village” had a different theme and I was going to be a part of the day they had themed:

Love, Pleasure and the Feminine

(when she told me this, I think my heart did an actual leap of joy as these are some of my favorite topics)

When the day came, I was standing at the back of the room during one of the first lectures when all of a sudden I was introduced to all 1000 people at once as “The Couple’s Therapist from Canada”. I waved and welcomed people to come and sign up for a private session. We had no idea if anyone actually would but to my delight, I booked all my available spots within about an hour. Felt awesome! The couples were mainly from Portugal, France or Germany, with a few from Canada and the US. One actually works very near my home in Toronto! They were mainly in their 20’s and 30’s and so open and curious about receiving guidance.

The adobe structure they had me working in felt a bit like a clay beehive. It was such a perfect place to work and I would lay out a sarong for all 3 of us. The conversations mainly started with asking the men what they wanted more of in the relationship.

This often took them by surprise but once they nestled in, they would often share things for the very first time and I could sense their partner’s eyes widening at times. Then it was the woman’s chance to speak about what she wanted more of and from there, I would weave back and forth teaching each of them more about each other. Often doing a bit of translation such as, “she is saying she needs a hug from you in the mornings and what she is asking for is connection” or “he has become resentful about fixing your computer all the time and what he is asking for is appreciation”.

And of course, at the end of each session,, I would have them give each other a big hug and a smooch to seal their commitment to improving their relationship. They often left glowing which was wonderful to see. In every moment, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be, helping the couples that needed me. It was very healing for myself too and I thought of David often. I really feel like he was giving me strength and guidance through it all.

COACHING EXERCISE FOR YOU

Identify where in your life you are blaming someone else for your unhappiness and allow yourself to see how much more power you would have if you took 100 percent responsibility. This doesn’t make the other person’s actions correct but what could open up if you really saw that you create your own happiness regardless of their actions? What actions can you take to reclaim your happiness?

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below. :)

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Dance, Swim, Grow, Repeat: All About My Exciting Travel to Portugal

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I’m back from my travel to Portugal and boy oh boy, are there stories to tell. :)

But first, how are you? How has your summer been?I’d love to hear from you.

On August 3rd, I boarded a train in Lisbon headed for Castelo Branco. I had been told by one of the festival organizers that I would know I was on the right train because everyone will look like they were going to a festival. Backpacks, carefree clothing, big smiles and music. She was right. The variety of people that I watched board the train made for some very interesting people watching. Little did I know that people watching would become my favorite past-time over the next 7 days.

I quickly made friends with some women from Germany and we chatted most of the way. All the languages around me were either German, French or Portuguese, all sharing the same excitement of getting to the festival.

Once we arrived at the festival site, it felt like such a union of likeminded souls. Here we were, gathered, practically in the middle of nowhere, all for the same reasons - to dance, to sing, to swim, to grow, to connect and to interact peacefully with each other for 7 days.. The fact that 50,000 people were able to do this without a single speck of police presence is remarkable. The theme for the week circled around:

We are one.

Country flags were prohibited because that can cause rivalry, even if it’s friendly. The message is that we are all humans looking to lead a life of meaning, fuelled by love. Now I don’t want you to get the idea we were all holding hands, singing Kumbaya the whole time….it was much more than that….

If you can picture almost like a little city complete with a supermarket, restaurant area, homes (tents!), shopping (local artists) and more. On each day, you could choose to go to a yoga or meditation class in the morning and then see an interesting lecture in the afternoon before you got your dance on in the evening. I preferred the early mornings and was often packing it in before the all-night dancing began but there was one night where the moon was out in full and dancing on the beach for 3 hours straight to a live DJ seemed like the perfect thing to do. :) The days were really hot so swimming in the big lake became my siesta and let’s just say, if you were wearing a bathing suit, you were in the minority. Haha.

I’ll be sharing again about my adventure to Portugal (and working as a Couple’s Therapist!) but I’d like to give you your coaching exercise for the week.

COACHING EXERCISE FOR YOU

Think of an area of your life where you feel your mind has shifted but you still behave the same way. For example, you may have a new perspective on recycling, but yet you still don’t recycle. You may have a new perspective on guns and war but you still allow your kids to play war-themed video games. This week, put some action behind any area where your mind has shifted but your behaviour hasn’t. Then TELL ME ABOUT IT! :) I would love to know what you are taking on.

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below. :)

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Portugal, here I come and navigating friendships

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Tonight I will be heading off on my adventure to Portugal. It’s been a real potpourri of emotion leading up to this moment. I didn’t know what level of strength I would have at this point in my grieving journey when I committed back in March but it seems David has equipped me with enough spirit nudges from afar to do this. Thank you my Sweet Love. Originally, a dear friend was to join me but some unexpected circumstances have come up in her life so she’s had to cancel. This will make for a very different trip than I expected, but I remain open to what will unfold and the variety of people I will meet. Before heading to the Festival, I will be spending a few days in Lisbon seeing a friend I’ve known since grade 7 who's had two kids since we last saw each other.Time flies.

Speaking of friendships, I’ve been talking with several different friends on this topic lately. We’ve been discussing the friendships that are harmonious in our lives, vs. the ones that seem to struggle. The common theme we agree on is that the people we are close with are the ones who view friendship in the same light.

One friend said to me, “There are friends in our lives that we hold very dear and think of often but that doesn’t always translate into a phone call or email…..and that works for both.”

We know where we stand with each other and are super happy whenever we make a connection. If it’s been awhile, we greet each other with:

“So great to hear from you! You’ve been on my mind!”

not,

“I never hear from you.”

For instance, my friend in Lisbon is someone I became good friends with in junior high and we’ve drifted in and out of each other’s lives since, without issue. We don’t pause to take anything personally when we haven’t heard from each other in awhile.

It’s an unspoken truth in these types of free-flowing friendships that we will continue to glide around our own respective worlds and bump into each other to check in when each of us are feeling called to. Two people who have the same view on friendship can create so much possibility and a much deeper connection than two people who have different views.

So here comes your coaching exercise for the week…

COACHING EXERCISE FOR YOU

Take a look at the different friendships you have in your life. To keep things easy, let’s just divide them into two categories: Free-Flowing and Struggle. Don’t be shy about writing down names. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a real person. J Now look to see which ones make you feel tangled up, guilty or unhappy. These are your Struggle friendships. Secondly, look at your Free-Flowing friendships. You should almost immediately feel a sense of ease, well-being and warmth about these friendships regardless of how often you see each other.

What you choose to do about this list is up to you. You may have some restructuring to do in the friend department or you may be simply inspired to reach out and check in with a Free-Flower.

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine