Ask the Expert: Why Are Men Doing Things To Hurt My Feelings?


Question:Why does it always seem like men are doing things to hurt my feelings?

Answer: There is this assumption out there that men KNOW the right thing to do but are purposely being difficult or purposely doing things to make us mad or upset. Ladies, this isn’t true. Men wake up in the morning ‘hoping’ they won’t upset you. I want you to try this perspective on:Men always have a reason behind their behaviors.

Pause on that thought.

We can spend our days thinking that men around us are going out of their way to make our lives more difficult. It just simply isn’t true. This mentality is everywhere and really, we need to consider they might have a reason for everything they do. As I say, that is the cool thing about men, they always have a REASON behind their behavior but often don’t reveal it. Yes, this causes frustration for women. I heard a story once of 2 women and 1 man who were trying to book a business coffee meeting off-site. The man suggested they meet at a coffee shop near his house and automatically the 2 women were exchanging emails about how selfish that was and how come he couldn’t suggest a location a little more central for everyone. Then one of the ladies decided to just ask: “WHY, did you choose that particular coffee shop?” The man replied, “My wife has a heart condition and this coffee shop is the only place in the city that serves true decaf coffee. Since she is attending the coffee meeting with us, I wanted her to be able to enjoy a coffee too”

By simply asking a WHY question, a whole new perspective opened up.

So anytime you are feeling frustrated, I encourage you to move away from assumptions and move toward asking WHY.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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