Is the “7 Year Itch” Real… Not Just in Relationships but in Life?


There’s often talk about the “seven year itch.” The idea is that, when you’re in a relationship for seven years, you start to second-guess yourself at the seven-year mark. Maybe you begin itching for a change. Perhaps you’re compelled to re-evaluate your relationship (and yourself) with more scrutiny than before. While American data points to the seven year itch being quite real for American marriages, I’d like to discuss the possibility of the “itch” being more about one person and his or her life than the relationship as a whole. Let's look together to answer the question, "Is the 7 year itch real?" once and for all. Like I mentioned, American data (specifically the financial data compiled by Credit Donkey) shows a clear trend: the majority of divorces that happen in the USA actually occur in the eighth year of marriage. Then we have Rudolf Steiner, an Austrian philosopher, who created a theory in which humans physically and mentally change every seven years. If one person in a partnership is on a different, or even the same, seven-year development cycle, it makes sense that things may get a little rocky – especially when the changes happen to be large.

Now, friend, I’m absolutely not saying that every relationship and every marriage will become intolerable and result in divorce after seven years because we all know that’s not the case! What I am suggesting, however, is a need for both single people and people in relationships to better understand their personal growth, development and goals. This will help us not only better navigate through life, but it will make us better communicators and partners as well.

Speaking from personal experience, I can look back at my life so far and easily identify periods of change. And, you know what? They happen about every seven years. Who you are at 21, just coming out of your teenaged years, can be vastly different than who you are at 28 – just about ready to enter your 30s. Who you are at 35 is likely different, again, from who you are at 43. It’s natural and healthy to grow a little restless and to experience a change in your outlook and goals. Also, who you are at 21 vs 43 can be very similar but it might just look different. In my own life, I can definitely see that the quest for adventure was there at 21 and still is but it just looks different now.

Think of your immediate group of friends for a moment. It’s likely, much like I do, that you know at least one person who hates the idea of change – perhaps they’re even scared of it. They likely find great comfort in things staying exactly the same and waking up each and every day to the same routine. If, one day, they were to wake up and begin to crave great change, without even understanding why, I’m sure it would be unsettling. Their life perspective would shift, their relationships may become strained and their personality may evolve.

Now, think back to your group of friends – or even family members. Again, much like I can identify this personality trait, you likely know someone who regularly seeks change and grows restless extremely quickly. Perhaps this person doesn’t really know what they want and figures they won’t know ‘til it’s right in front of them. Perhaps they’re afraid of their life becoming “stagnant.” Whatever the case, imagine how this person may feel if they had a partner with a similar lust for constant change only to find, one day, that one of them now just wanted everything to slow down and settle. Naturally, it would create challenges.

What I recommend doing regularly, not just every seven years, is sitting down and really connecting with yourself. Ask yourself these questions:

“How happy are you...really?”

“What could you be doing to lead a happier, fuller life today?”

And, if you’re in a relationship, ask yourself these as well:

“Why do you love your partner?” (asking "Why" brings you closer to the positive feeling of all the reasons you chose your partner)

“How could you reinforce (or remind!) yourself and your partner the positive reasons you chose each other?”

"Can you identify the areas of growth and frame them as that, as opposed to seeing change as a negative?"

A strong understanding of not only who you are right now, but who your partner is as well, is necessary for success. But, you also need to leave a good amount of space for changing and evolving. Just as you’re not the same now as you were seven or fourteen years ago, it makes perfect sense that who you’ll be – single or as a partnership – is bound to change seven years from now. The key is being able to see the positive in that –the space for growth as a partnership instead of growing away from the partnership.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

Are You Committing These Life Coach No-No’s At Work?


As a life coach, I often speak with my clients about achieving happiness, finding love and living a life of authenticity. Naturally, a topic that comes up quite often is that of work. For the majority of us, work is a large part of our lives. How we spend our time at the office, whether that office is away from the home or at it, impacts all other areas of our lives. If you’re looking to make the most out of all aspects of your life, including the hours spent at the office, I encourage you to read through the following list and recognize whether or not you may be committing any of these life coach no-nos. If you are, I challenge you to break the habit and begin taking strides towards greater happiness.

Not Knowing When to Ask for Help

Today’s society constantly tells people to strive for perfection. Be the most beautiful you can be. Be the smartest. Never show weakness. Never ask for help. But, in reality, life would be pretty darn miserable if we all chose to live that way – not to mention lonely! Knowing when to ask for help or when a task is beyond your immediate abilities is not only not a sign of weakness; it’s actually a sign of capability and leadership that many employers look for in employees.

When you feel you could use clarification, benefit from a helping hand or simply can’t take on additional workload – speak up. You are not only doing yourself a disservice, but are also doing a disservice to your teammates, when you live in fear of asking for help.

Not Taking Credit For Your Work

You work hard to produce high quality work and bring good ideas to the table. When you brush off your abilities or downplay your contribution, you are showing the outside world that you don’t value your contribution; and if you don’t value what you bring to the table, why should your employer or team?

Allow yourself to take credit for the work you have done. When you share a report in a meeting, use language that demonstrates you have put time and effort into creating the report. When sharing an opinion or idea, use language like “I believe I have an idea” instead of “Maybe this would work”. On the flipside, I encourage you to always own your mistakes. Accountability for both negative and positive situations is necessary for the successful running of a healthy team and will help you become the best person you can be, not only between the hours of 9-5.

Not Voicing Your Opinion

Your skills, background and mind are all reasons you were hired, so I urge you to not forget the value you bring to the table! Your opinions and ideas are valuable, so when you sit quietly through meetings or offer to take meeting minutes instead of remain an active participant in a discussion, you’re holding back.

The next time your Manager asks for your thoughts on a matter, take a moment to collect them and then share what you think. When people ask for your opinion or thoughts, they typically aren’t asking to simply be polite. They value and appreciate your mind and skills and authentically want to receive a response.

Not Praising Your Coworkers

Many workplaces foster a culture of competition. While competition can be great to encourage you to continue growing, regularly strive for higher goals and produce high results consistently – it can also make you feel like it’s you against your teammates. By allowing yourself to feel as though you’re “in it for yourself” or it’s “you against the world”, you miss out on crucial opportunities to strengthen your team, your place within the company and you end up experiencing more negative thoughts.

The next time your coworker receives recognition for a job well done, offer your sincere and authentic praise. Take a moment to thank your coworker for his or her contribution to the team and let them know that they are appreciated by you. When you remind yourself to show appreciation to others and celebrate their wins, you become a better person yourself. Plus, others will take notice of your praise and begin delivering their own – a smile is contagious and all.

Not Praising Yourself

Lastly, I want you to stop forgetting about praising yourself. Yes, you should feel grateful to have a job that allows you to support yourself when so many struggle to make ends meet. But you’ve also earned your position through hard work, dedication and the ability to produce quality ideas. In between practicing gratitude towards others, I urge you to recognize your own accomplishments, strengths and triumphs.

Praising yourself can be as easy as saying a self-affirming statement such as, “You are confident, capable and have worked hard to be where you are.” It could also be allowing yourself to swing by the grocery store and pick up your favourite dessert as a special treat. Or, it could be treating yourself to a quiet, relaxing spa day. However you choose to celebrate yourself, be sure to thoroughly enjoy it and thank yourself for the gift.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

Life Coach Advice: Avoid These 4 Self-Sabotaging Habits


There’s a time old adage that teaches that happiness begins within. While it may seem at times that finding happiness in the right now is impossible, I can’t stress enough how much control you truly have in your own emotional well-being, in the path your life takes and in your experiencing of true joy. To help you achieve joy and happiness, I want to share my list of four self-sabotaging habits you need to stop now. One of my greatest joys as a life coach is seeing first-hand how my clients are able to effectively change their outlooks on life, personal happiness and achieve success. I won’t say that it’s an instant change, because it’s not. But, it’s a change that is entirely possible and that I believe that you, too, can make.

Avoid Autopilot Behaviour

What do I mean by this? Well, there are many behaviours that can easily achieve autopilot status under the right (or, in this case, wrong) circumstances. Some examples are mindless eating, binge watching television, losing hours to vying over your ex boyfriend’s recent trip with his new girlfriend… these are all examples of actions or behaviour that happen without a deliberate intention. They just get into autopilot.

Allowing yourself to carry on a life in which you regularly simply tune out and allow yourself to engage in autopilot behaviours can have a negative, direct impact on your happiness. It’s so incredibly important to be aware of this "brain habit" and consciously catch yourself. This way you can, in the moment, choose different thoughts.

When you allow your life and your mind to be filled up to the rim with unintentional thoughts and actions, you end up without any room for positive intentions. A life filled with deliberate, thought-out and intentional actions will ultimately lead to a much more fulfilling and happy day-to-day.

Avoid Criticizing Yourself

Believe me when I say that everyone experiences self-criticism, just simply of varying degrees. At the end of the day, we are all only human. With that being said, regular self-criticizing behaviour can have major negative impacts on your self-esteem, self-confidence, outlook on life and happiness.

When you feel yourself beginning to pick yourself apart, take a moment to breathe. It’s imperative that you follow that breath with a self-affirming statement. For example, not feeling beautiful today? Remind yourself that you are special (and gorgeous) in your own unique skin. Feeling down because a presentation you delivered at work didn’t go as well as you hoped? Remind yourself that you are capable, intelligent and will rock the next presentation twice as hard.

Avoid Isolation

When you’re feeling down, it can be tempting to throw on the sweats and retreat to a weekend filled with Netflix, delivery food and just about nothing else. Allowing yourself to remain in isolation, particularly when you’re feeling especially down, can have more negative impacts than healing ones. While “me” time can be very fulfilling and productive, the difference between that and “isolation” really comes down to purpose.

The next time you’re tempted to cancel on friends with plans or decline an event invitation, ask yourself if you truly intend to spend the time working towards greater self fulfillment or if there is now a larger likelihood you will feel worse through isolating yourself. Again, I fully believe in recharging by spending time alone but we just have to be careful of when and how we do it.

Avoid Putting Everyone Before Yourself

Have you ever been called a “people pleaser” or thought of yourself a “yes man” or “yes woman”? Generosity and devotion to others is not a characteristic to be ashamed of, nor is it a negative. However, if you regularly put everyone else ahead of yourself to the point that your own needs and wants are not being met – chances are that you’re not as happy as you could be.

Spending time focused on working towards your own happiness will result in a lift in happiness of those around you. Everyone wins when you put your own happiness as value numero uno. This joy has influence and will emanate to those around you.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

How you relate to fear shapes the quality of your life


Christine Hart and Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love

A few weeks ago I attended a workshop with one of my faves, Mastin Kipp of the Daily Love. He’s recently published a book called Growing into Grace and I’m looking forward to diving in this weekend.

When striving to follow your truth, inevitably fear comes up over and over. Am I doing the right thing? What if this doesn’t work? What if I make a fool of myself? Is this too risky? Mastin gave us a brilliant acronym associated with the word FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.

We know that fear is our brain’s way of keeping us safe so of course, it makes sense that our brains have become masters of even creating evidence to back up their claims. It’s almost like our brain is a well-resourced lawyer ready for a strong debate at any given moment. ☺

So since we know that this is typical behavior of our brain, how can we adjust it? Mastin suggests that:

How you relate to fear shapes the quality of your life

He went on to explain that our relationship to each fear determines the type of fear it is.


More specifically:


Excitement is fear with POSITIVE energy Anxiety is fear with NEGATIVE energy

This means that once we acknowledge what our fear is, we can choose if we are going to create excitement OR anxiety around it. I think this is pretty awesome and allows us to get back in the driver’s seat of our brains, rather than being a hopeful passenger.


For example: let’s say you are in a relationship right now with someone that you care deeply about but you’re almost positive they are not the one you are going to spend the rest of your life with. You may default to anxiety, negative based fear and not break up with the person because you fear being alone. The other choice would be to place excitement and positive energy around the fear and see it as the right decision to free yourself up for a more suited relationship. In both cases, you are fully acknowledging the fear but you are choosing what energy you are going to give it.


Name two fears you have. They could be about work, relationships, fitness, life purpose, whatever you like. Be real with yourself and identify if positive or negative energy surrounds it. Now look to see if you can switch them to positive energy. Notice how this opens things up. You might be inspired to set some new goals once you see that FEAR as False Evidence Appearing Real.

Let me know what you discover by sharing in the comments below!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

PS Make sure to follow me on Instagram for daily inspiration and more exciting photos from workshops and events! :)

Do What You Love, It's The Key to Happiness


We hear a lot about how we’re supposed to follow our passions, but what does that really mean? What does it look like to follow your passions? Passion is that feeling of excitement and optimism that we feel when we’re living authentically. How that shows up in our lives is different for each of us though. How come it's more difficult for some of you to really do what you love? Some people are passionate about things like dogs or cats. In much the same way, our passions present themselves in our work, our relationships and how we live every aspect of our lives. It’s not so much about what our passions actually are, but that we follow them.

Joseph Campbell, the renowned mythologist, is often quoted for his famous words saying that in order for us to be truly happy in life, we must ‘Follow Our Bliss’. What is it that truly excites you? When do you feel the most vital and alive?

To follow your passions means to take that leap, even when you don’t know what lies on the other side. It means to be willing to trust that there is some divine plan at play that is inviting your true potential to manifest itself in the world. Passion inherently contains within it, some element of risk.

Many of us take the safe bet in life though. We choose the safe relationship, the steady job with a guaranteed income and the quiet predictable neighbourhood to live in.

There’s nothing wrong with those choices if they allow you to follow your passions, but if you are choosing them only because it’s safe vs what you really want, then you’ve denied yourself the chance to follow your bliss and to authentically step into who are meant to be.

Here’s what I recommend:

Ask yourself what your passion is. If you could do just one thing today, right now, to start following your passion, what would that be? Then switch to imagining that you’re already living your passions. How does that feel to be living that way? Notice making decisions becomes so much easier because you are trying to line up your life with that feeling. All the choices you make every day somehow come more naturally. Everything just flows and there is no resistance.

Give it a try!

That is why we should follow our passions, because following our passions allows us to honor ALL of who we are, not just the beliefs that we have inherited from others.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

When it Comes to Re-Inventing Yourself, do you Need to Go all the Way?


Last week I spoke with a group of women on the topic of “inventing yourself or re-inventing yourself” after a significant life event. It could be at any level from changing careers to the loss of a loved one but the discussion really focused on:

When you feel like you have to make big changes, how far do you need to go to really feel that change?

Here’s an example – after leaving a job we’d outgrown or could no longer stand, we decide that since baking is our passion, we are going to go all the way and open up a bake shop so that we can do our passion all the time. We didn’t consider all of the other elements of owning a bake shop that are not our passion and we end up dissatisfied because we’re left with zero time to create a life.

Another example is we really love yoga so we think that ultimately, it’s about teaching yoga so we enroll in teacher training only to discover that actually, we just like going to yoga classes and don’t really care about advanced anatomy. I’ve shared these examples to highlight the pressure we put on ourselves to go all the way

When I returned from Portugal this summer, I was quite convinced that I needed to move to the countryside, build a sustainable home and grow most of my food in my garden. Hello hippy life!

After spending such an amazing time in nature, I was having difficulty adjusting to being back in the city and the hustle and bustle was really getting on my nerves. So I researched all the different options and became pre-occupied with how I was going to pick up and leave my life here. I had bookmarked tons of websites and envisioned my dream home but what this was doing was creating a lot of pressure, not the freedom I desired.

So I had a chat with my soul and pretty much said, “I know this is a huge desire and I am going to re-visit it over the years to see where I stand.” What I was doing was acknowledging that this desire is real and not some hippy dream and that one day, I may just do it. That’s all your soul wants is the acknowledgment that this is real and true for you.

In the meantime, to avoid unrest I decided what I could do is make my city life a little more country. I love Pinterest so I created some boards that get in touch with that feeling of one day. I pinned some of the Adobe homes I would love to learn how to build. For food, I shifted my shopping to include weekly visits to the Farmer’s Markets because there’s something about purchasing right from the hands that helped pick or deliver the produce that makes so much sense to me. And I started following whole food chefs on Instagram to learn more about how they work with all natural ingredients.

As I was describing to the women I spoke with, these are ways of putting your desires on simmer as opposed to turning the oven right off.

My philosophy is that “one day” will arrive and we want to be fully prepared.

Do you have a Pinterest board of dreams and desires? Share them below! :)

You can find me on Pinterest here:

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

The Truth Behind Your Personal Growth Plan


You’ve likely heard about personal growth plans, whether it was on a talk show or within the pages of your favourite glossy magazine. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, it’s essentially a way to map out the next month, year or other period of your life in order to achieve specific goals. Making a plan, especially when you have specific goals you want to achieve in your career, love life or on a spiritual level, is a really good idea. However, what you have to remember to plan for is for your plan to sometimes go out the window.

Life is a journey. There are ups and downs and a whole lot of course correction, no matter how perfect your roadmap and compass may be. And that’s okay. Sometimes we learn the most from situations we didn’t or couldn’t anticipate happening. We’re forced, however willingly, to re-examine the situation and find our way back onto our paths.

As children, we’re regularly told that we should “learn from our mistakes”. We’re told, “it’s okay, you’ll get it next time!” and encouraged to get back on the horse when we fall off. Why is that, as adults, the thought of making a mistake can be petrifying and we no longer see the obvious option to just get back on the horse?

The biggest, number one, most effective way to shake off your fear of failure is to stop seeking recognition outside of yourself. Your personal goals and personal growth plan are just that – they’re personal. If you want to write more, write more than you did last year. If you want to make more money, aim to make more money than you did last year.

Most importantly, try your hardest to stop comparing yourself to others and chasing someone else’s goals and accomplishments. You’re your own person, and you’re pretty amazing.

Lastly, remember to give yourself some recognition at the end of the day. You’re allowed to fumble and fall, just as long as you continue to learn from the low points and reach for the high ones. You can do it

I’d love to hear what happens when you try this so be sure to share your experience with me in the comments below.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

How To Define Success & Achieve It On Your Own Terms


What does it mean to you when you hear the word success? Have you ever tried to figure out how to define success? Does the meaning of success change for you depending on what type of success you’re defining?

Let’s look at success in relationships.

How do you define a successful relationship? What elements need to be present? What is non-negotiable for you to experience success in your relationship?

While there are some elements that will be deeply personal, there a few simple steps that anyone can take to make their relationships more successful.

For starters, we all need to understand that any relationship is an energetic exchange. When two people come together, they are on some level, a match for each another.

Now the part of you that ‘matches’ may not always be what you like about yourself, so when you see it show up in your partner, you’re probably not going to like it in them either!

For example, let’s say that you find yourself to be too judgmental of others. That might leave you feeling particularly sensitive when your partner makes comments to you that sound like he’s – well, judging you.

On the other hand though, you and you’re partner can be mirrors for how you approach life with a clear focus, as a result of that same skill of discernment. (That’s the nice way of saying judgment.)

How you define success in your relationship will vary depending on how you view it, either through a positive or negative filter. The first simple step that you can take is to recognize that you have an impact o n your partner, and how they’re showing up.

In fact, in most cases, I would go so far as to say that the woman sets the tone for the relationship. Therefore, it’s very helpful to have a clear idea of how you define success for your relationship.

Here’s simple step number two. If success for you means feeling good around each other, then you need to make sure that you feel good with yourself first. You can’t show up and expect someone else to make you feel better.

You need to at least be willing to try to cheer yourself up on your own, before asking someone else to help get a giggle out you. If you really can’t shift how you’re feeling, consider taking some time alone rather than engaging with your partner when you know you can’t offer him, what it is that you yourself are lacking.

Simple step number three is to take some time to clarify what it is that you really desire in your relationship. Define success on your own terms and build a mental map of what it looks like so you’ll know it when you see it and experience it.

Too often we’re so busy chasing someone else’s idea of what success looks like, we never even notice it when it’s happening in our own lives. Sometimes the simplest things define success in our relationships and they’re so simple that we overlook them.

Here are a few questions to get you started:

1) What’s the funniest memory you have of being with your current partner, or in a previous relationship?

2) What was it about that situation that is so memorable for you?

3) How can you experience more of that?

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Why You Should Follow Your Passions… No Matter What


Steve Jobs once said, “The only way to do great work is to love what you do” It’s a quote that’s been said many times before Jobs and many times since, and in many different ways. But, the essence remains the same. Find work and activities you feel passionate about as it’s really the only way. Now, with regards to work, I know that many of you may think, “How could I possibly love what I do?” I know it can be hard to imagine loving your job at times. There are likely a lot of days where you feel you work to live, not live to work. I’ve heard it from many people before and I know I’ll continue to hear it again – but I’m telling you that it doesn’t have to be that way.

While it can be scary to think of changing your career, or even making a small change in your current one, your passions are worth following.

Here’s WHY:

You Only Live Once

I hate to be the one to remind us of the infamous “YOLO”, but there’s some serious meaning behind the acronym t-shirts and radio hit pop songs touting You Only Live Once. If you have one life to live, why would you live it doing anything you don’t truly love? Sometimes it isn't convenient or wise to just drop your career cold and follow your passions but in the meantime, you can control how you spend your time outside of your work and those feelings of happiness can change your actual work life. This could mean doing something as small as attending a painting workshop once a week (even though you haven’t painted in 12+ years) or finally buying the guitar you’ve been eyeing for months or something big like going on a tour through Peru and making your way to Machu Picchu!

Happiness Breeds Happiness

So what if you take a job with a slightly lower salary? If it’s a job you love and you leave the office feeling fulfilled and happy every single day, can you honestly put a dollar value on that? Yes, there are financial commitments in everyone’s life and we all need to pay bills – but you may be surprised to learn you probably don’t need as much money as you think you do. And I know you’ll be surprised at the amount of intangible wealth your happiness will breed.

You Might Miss Your True Calling

We’re all born with talents. Some of us discover them at a ripe, young age. Others figure them out later in life. Whatever your case may be, making sure you’re not too sucked up in your daily routine (and that goes double for those who dislike their current daily routine) that you totally miss out on your calling. Sometimes years can go by where you think the same thoughts on your way to work, at work and on your way home from work but you're so busy, it's impossible to create space to try something new! It's important to give yourself some room to discover what your true calling is.

As Dr. Seuss said, "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You".

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below. :)

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine