Stereotypes

6 "Single" Stereotypes That Got it Wrong

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If you’re single, there’s a good chance that your couple friends and family can sometimes find it hard to relate to you. Perhaps they’ve offered to set you up with someone they know, made a comment or asked a question that made you feel awkward, or regularly check in to ask if you’re “still single.” This is because your friends and family, like many people within our relationship-focused culture, have grown to believe certain stereotypes over time. Sure, there may be downsides to being single, but there are a whole lot of upsides too. This post talks about exactly what – the six stereotypes about being single that got it totally wrong. 1. It’s So Hard Cooking for One

Cooking for yourself, and just yourself, can be incredibly enjoyable. This is your chance to be adventurous, explore different cuisines and never have to compromise on the menu. Love pineapple and olives on your pizza? Do your thing. It’s 100% up to you! Plus, with so many cook-at-home subscriptions and grocers offering options that cater to those seeking smaller portions than the traditional four-person household, it can not only be enjoyable but affordable as well.

2. You Can’t Enjoy Traveling

There’s no denying that traveling on your own is different from traveling with a partner, but that doesn’t mean it’s not just as exciting or fulfilling. In fact, traveling on your own can be the most rewarding experience of your life if you approach it with the right mindset. Take the opportunity to go somewhere you’ve always wanted to, step outside your comfort zone and make lasting friendships and memories. Not only that, but you’re gaining life experience and amazing stories to share with your future partner.

3. You’re a Workaholic

Being single doesn’t equate to being a workaholic or lacking in life balance. Actually, it’s pretty likely that you have a more balanced life and greater time for your passions than many couples do. You set your own schedule, only have yourself to answer to and have the complete ability to do what you want. Want to pour yourself into your career and land your dream promotion? Want to commit to living a mindful life and take off on a yoga treat in Bali? Want to live a totally balanced life that allows for rewarding work and personal time? It’s your call and no one else’s.

4. You Just Don’t Know What You Want

There’s a preconceived notion that a single person may be single because he or she doesn’t know what they want, or because they are being “too picky.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting the bar high and refusing to settle – and this can be difficult for those in a relationship to understand at times, as often sometimes people define success in life by finding a partner, getting married and having children. Remind yourself that it’s not that you don’t know what you want. In fact, it’s just the opposite. You want to live your fullest life, find the right partner and do it in a way that makes you happy.

5. Happy Couples Annoy You

Just because you’re single doesn’t automatically mean that you dislike happy couples or no longer want to hang out with your “couple friends.” Sure, feeling like the third wheel can be a little challenging at times, but you are a mindful adult capable of determining whether or not you like someone based on their individual actions. You see a couple as two equal partners, not as a single being. Some people in relationships may rub you the wrong way, but it’s not because of the fact that they’re in a relationship. You don’t breathe life into stereotypes.

6. You Must Be So Lonely

Have you ever heard the phrase, “I’ve never felt so lonely than when standing in a room full of people?” You see, anyone is capable of experiencing a sense of loneliness. Those in relationships still do experience loneliness from time to time, sometimes more emotional than physical, but still just as valid. And, being single doesn’t mean that you’re sitting at home by yourself. Many of my single clients take full advantage of their autonomy by trying new restaurants, spending more time with friends, following a passion or hobby they’ve put off and by filling their time with the people and things they love.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Why Gender Intelligence Needs to Replace Gender Stereotypes… Now

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If I asked you to think of a common stereotype about females, I’m sure you could think of something in less than 10 seconds. The same can easily be said about stereotypes surrounding males. From a young age, harmful and relationship-impacting gender stereotypes are engrained into our minds and daily lives. Now, I do want to say that I see value in understanding the sexes separately. But more than that, I see incredible value (and so should you!) in understanding how they work together. This sort of genuine understanding of gender strengths and challenges is called Gender Intelligence… and dear friends; this is something the world needs so much more of. Whether it’s in the workplace, within a family dynamic or within a relationship – gender intelligence can help you better empathize, understand and grow. In this post I want to share with you three examples of why gender intelligence needs to replace gender stereotypes, as well as how it’s possible. Please, friends, read on!

 

 

Gender Stereotype #1: Females Live Their Lives Believing the Men Around Them Simply Don’t Listen

 

 

Romantic comedies and stories between friends alike constantly perpetuate this gender stereotype. Men are just “grown children” or “are incapable of listening”, right? Wrong. The truth is that how men listen differs from how women listen, and that in actuality they listen just as often but in that different way.

 

While women explore feelings and soak in the conversation in its entirety, men tend to listen to what they consider the most important points with the aim to develop their opinion. Men also tend to listen and speak more literally, whereas women tend to infer and speak more hypothetically, rhetorically and metaphorically.

 

 

Gender Stereotype #2: Men are Too Confident and Women Lack Self-Confidence

 

 

Think of the last time you expressed your opinion. Did you preface your statement by saying, “I am pretty sure” and did you possibly end it with, “But I’m not certain” or a similar statement? If you’re female, the likelihood is higher. This is because females tend to want to remain non-confrontational, even subconsciously, to foster a feeling of togetherness and safety. We don't set out to do this, but it's in our DNA to "keep the peace" when we are in our feminine. This is a good time to mention that women spend varying amounts of time in their masculine side vs. their feminine side. When men hear these types of statements, they can assume that the female lacks confidence or is not self-assured because if a man were to say those words, that's what they would think.

 

The reality is men tend to speak in more unilateral, literal and concise terms and females tend to maintain a group mentality. Both methods of communication are equally valuable. It’s important, however, to understand why females and males communicate differently in order to avoid confusion, hurt feelings and to really hear the conversation for what it is rather than how it’s being said.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
Click Here to Get Your FREE DATE COACH STARTER KIT!