How To Define Success & Achieve It On Your Own Terms


What does it mean to you when you hear the word success? Have you ever tried to figure out how to define success? Does the meaning of success change for you depending on what type of success you’re defining?

Let’s look at success in relationships.

How do you define a successful relationship? What elements need to be present? What is non-negotiable for you to experience success in your relationship?

While there are some elements that will be deeply personal, there a few simple steps that anyone can take to make their relationships more successful.

For starters, we all need to understand that any relationship is an energetic exchange. When two people come together, they are on some level, a match for each another.

Now the part of you that ‘matches’ may not always be what you like about yourself, so when you see it show up in your partner, you’re probably not going to like it in them either!

For example, let’s say that you find yourself to be too judgmental of others. That might leave you feeling particularly sensitive when your partner makes comments to you that sound like he’s – well, judging you.

On the other hand though, you and you’re partner can be mirrors for how you approach life with a clear focus, as a result of that same skill of discernment. (That’s the nice way of saying judgment.)

How you define success in your relationship will vary depending on how you view it, either through a positive or negative filter. The first simple step that you can take is to recognize that you have an impact o n your partner, and how they’re showing up.

In fact, in most cases, I would go so far as to say that the woman sets the tone for the relationship. Therefore, it’s very helpful to have a clear idea of how you define success for your relationship.

Here’s simple step number two. If success for you means feeling good around each other, then you need to make sure that you feel good with yourself first. You can’t show up and expect someone else to make you feel better.

You need to at least be willing to try to cheer yourself up on your own, before asking someone else to help get a giggle out you. If you really can’t shift how you’re feeling, consider taking some time alone rather than engaging with your partner when you know you can’t offer him, what it is that you yourself are lacking.

Simple step number three is to take some time to clarify what it is that you really desire in your relationship. Define success on your own terms and build a mental map of what it looks like so you’ll know it when you see it and experience it.

Too often we’re so busy chasing someone else’s idea of what success looks like, we never even notice it when it’s happening in our own lives. Sometimes the simplest things define success in our relationships and they’re so simple that we overlook them.

Here are a few questions to get you started:

1) What’s the funniest memory you have of being with your current partner, or in a previous relationship?

2) What was it about that situation that is so memorable for you?

3) How can you experience more of that?

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

5 Steps to Achieving Greater Self-Love


We all have bad days. It’s normal. How you deal with those pestering, bad feelings is up to you, though. For me, I’ve discovered that taking steps to feeling a greater sense of self-love has completely changed the way I see the world and how I see myself. I have fewer “bad” days and way more good ones. If you want to achieve a greater level of self-love, you completely can. All it takes is commitment, time and reflection. You already are amazing by the way. :) Now it’s time for you to continuously recognize that amazing-ness within yourself and really let it shine. You might be surprised how your life changes!

To get you started on the path to achieving greater self-love, I’m sharing 5 steps. To continue your journey, I’d recommend picking up a copy (or downloading an eBook!) of Gabby Bernstein’s Add More ~ing To Your Life. It’s a great, easy read that’s sure to shift your perceptions on self-appreciation and celebration.

Step One: Cut the Negativity

This one’s hard to do but probably the most impactful. You’ve got to stop criticizing yourself! Whether it’s while you’re getting dressed in the morning or washing your face at night, don’t let your negative thoughts drag you down. Notice a new wrinkle? Shrug it off. Don’t feel like a total ten in your skinny jeans? Slip into your favourite dress. Whatever you do, don’t let yourself focus on the negative – just move on.

Step Two: Forgive Yourself

We’re all human and mistakes happen. When they do, forgive yourself. Did you arrive somewhere late? Miss an exit on the highway? Forget to call your sister back? It’s OK – you’re human and worthy of forgiveness. It’s harder to forgive ourselves than it is to forgive others at times, but with enough practice you’ll start to forgive and forget much quicker.

Step Three: Praise Yourself

When you accomplish something, beat your personal best or just feel great – praise yourself! It’s OK to show yourself a little bit of self-love. Whether it’s flashing yourself a smile in the mirror or writing a positive mantra on a sticky note and putting it in your purse for later – you’re worth it.

Step Four: Reward Yourself

By “reward”, I don’t always mean chocolate. But sometimes chocolate absolutely does the trick! Reward yourself, and your body, with proper nutrition and exercise. A health body will help you maintain a healthy mind and emotional state. Exercise boosts our “feel good” hormones and nutritious food helps us stay calm, boosts our energy and fills us up.

Step Five: Take Care With How You Surround Yourself

Be mindful of those you surround yourself with. It’s often been said that you become the average of the people you have in your life. Whether or not that’s true is up for debate, but it is true that the people around you can seriously drag you down – or boost you up.Choose to spend time with people who inspire, motivate and truly love you. Rethink your relationships that have the opposite effect.

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below. :)

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine