How Small Comments Can Have Big Impact


One thing that women are really good at doing is changing, and in large part, our motivation to change comes from perceived criticism by those around us. Have you ever been told by a boyfriend that he didn’t like your absolute favorite shirt?

As much as you may have loved that shirt, most women would at least stop wearing it around him.

Why? Because for a woman our instinct is to adapt, and we view criticism as the invitation to do so…even if we reluctantly change, we often still change.

The masculine responds differently though.

Try to recall the last time that you criticized a man. Did he change his behavior right away? Likely not, and herein lies another difference between men and women.

As a woman, because we react to criticism in one way, we think that when we criticize a man he’ll react in the same way, by changing.

But guess what? He doesn’t.

He doesn’t change his behavior because he evaluates information in a totally different way than you do.

In the past, a woman’s very survival depended on her ability to adapt to constantly changing circumstances, so naturally we’ve become quite good at this.

A man will take your criticism and then evaluate whether or not there is any truth to it before ever acting on it.

And honestly, he may never act on it, because he may not see the effort required to change as worth the pay off.

But don’t worry, not all hope is lost!

What a man truly does respond to is your ability to appreciate him for who he is. We’ll learn more about how that is woven in and out of criticism.

In next weeks blog I’ll show you how you can give your man the appreciation he really wants and why your appreciation has the power to transform the way you relate to one another.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

It Feels Like My Feelings Are Not Being Respected


Have you ever asked a man how he felt about something only to have him respond with the words, ‘I don’t know enough to have an opinion’? To a woman this sort of response is crazy making because we just don’t understand how a man could not know how he feels about something.

As women, we’re guided by feeling; we’re motivated to action by feeling.

Overwhelmingly though, men do not trust feelings as something to act on.

In fact, men do not always trust people who act based solely on feelings.

For many men, ‘having a grip’ on their feelings is a hallmark of their character.

A man screens information and evaluates it before he moves forward.

A woman only needs to be in touch with her feelings to form an opinion.

A woman’s opinions can change as often as her feelings, but for a man, his opinions are very much a part of his sense of self.

And make no mistake; a man will defend his opinions to the death!

Can you recall a time when you found yourself attracted to a man and were listening intently to every word he said?

Part of that listening was you trying to determine whether or not you agreed with his opinions.

Think about it, when you agree with a man’s opinions you feel closer to him. When you disagree though, there is a feeling of distance that is created between you.

And women hate feeling distance because it makes us feel alienated. We want to feel close and cozy.

On a very basic level, a man’s relationship to communication is that of a warrior. And how does a warrior communicate? He conceals information, because he needs to be able to rely on the element of surprise.

The good news is, any time a man speaks his opinion, he’s actually unknowingly revealing himself to you.

In that willingness to just listen I think you’ll find that he just processes and shares information differently.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine