5 Questions That Make Men Cringe


You may have found that, by nature, women tend to be more talkative than men. In fact, women on average speak twice as many words per day than their male counterparts. Wow! This isn't right or wrong, it's just a difference that exists between us and note, I am speaking "on average", not all men or all women. :) Men, on the other hand, tend to rely more heavily on action over discussion. They also tend to place more meaning on the words they hear, and say. Even the most well intentioned question, or one simply asked to spark a conversation, can have the complete opposite effect. In this post, we’re going to talk about the top five questions that make men cringe and, more importantly, why it happens.


“What’s wrong?”

When it comes to this question, timing is truly everything. If your guy comes home from work mid-day and is visibly upset, then of course you would ask what’s going on and try to help. If he’s enjoying a little quiet time or doesn’t feel like going out to dinner with a big group of friends, then asking him a question that implies his behaviour isn’t normal can be agitating and can come across as confrontational.

If you’ve noticed a pattern of behaviour that’s outside the norm for your guy, then have a conversation. Let him know that you’re curious if he is doing okay and you want him to know that you’re there if he needs you, but the key is, don’t press him on it. It could be the case that he had a stressful week or perhaps didn’t even realize he’s been sending you these vibes. As women, we are programmed to take everything personally and want to fix people who are feeling down. Sometimes, it's not needed, he is just processing but knows you are there if he needs to talk.

“Where’s this going?”

This one’s a real doozy. The question, while so short and simple, can mean an incredible number of different things to different people. At the beginning of a relationship, it most often means, “Are we exclusive?” Later on it might evolve to mean, “When will we move in together?” or even “When will we get married?” or “Are we going to have kids?”

When dealing with loaded topics such as these, it’s important to engage in the right setting and with clear, honest language. Leave ambiguity out of the equation and put what’s on your mind on the table, but in a way that's not confrontational. Confrontation rarely leads to conversation as everyone is on guard. This will help keep the conversation from seeming intimidating or overwhelming and is much more likely to get you a clear answer in return. If you are asking "where's this going?", don't keep it opened ended, it is way more productive to be specific "we've been together for 6 months and I think it would be good for us to chat about what our future looks like...."

“Who is she?”

[ctt template="2" link="pb50w" via="yes" ]Confrontation rarely leads to conversation as everyone is on guard.[/ctt]

I’ve spoken before about how jealousy is one of the top traits that turn men off, so it’s no surprise this question makes the list of topics that make men cringe. Whether you’re asking about a woman he’s mentioned from work or someone who passes you on the street and gives a friendly hello, letting the little green monster take hold of you is sure to end in an argument. Similar to the first two questions, there’s a right way and a wrong way to approach the subject. Even with the “right” way, it’s incredibly important to avoid coming across as accusatory or confrontational because, friend, it can backfire.

If you notice that your guy seems to be spending more time with a female co-worker than before, even though you’ve never met her, it’s only natural to want to know more – and it’s completely OK to ask. To keep things open, you can say something like, "Tracey seems interesting, what sort of work did she do before joining your company?" Showing him that you’re genuinely interested in all aspects of his life, including his co-workers and friends, will allow the conversation to run smoothly as opposed to coming across as an accusation. The fact is, both of you are going to have attractive, single people come into each of your work lives and so coming from a place of curiousity is going to go way further in having both of you share openly and building a trusting relationship. 

“Why’d you break up?”

Exes and past relationships are one of those topics that a lot of men and women find uncomfortable. Asking a man to sum up the reason for a past relationship’s demise in a single response? That’s another story entirely. As with most breakups, it’s hard to narrow down why it didn’t work out to a single reason. Even when there is a clear reason, such as infidelity on either partner’s part, it can be very raw and uncomfortable – and, understandably, the last thing a guy’s going to want to dive into discussing (especially on a first date!).

When it does come time to discussing past relationships, it’s important to do so in a safe and private environment – such as one of your homes or when you are out for a walk as opposed to a loud coffee shop. Consider asking questions like, “What did you learn from your last relationship?” and “What do you want to get out of your next relationship?” as opposed to focusing only on the negative, more gossipy stuff. From working with clients for many years, I have found that one of the most important things to process before heading into a new relationship is why the last one didn't work. Also, figuring out a way you can speak about it respectfully rather than begrudgingly is important. Don't bring the past into the future with things like, "well he was just a total prick who cheated on me". That will instantly close doors. As tough as it can be, have a more mature approach in the beginning, "things didn't work out between us, we had really different values and I learned a lot about myself" Then, as your new relationship progresses, you can aim to get into more details down the road. It's important to create space to get to know each other without the past cluttering things up.

“Are you listening?”

Women often show that they’re listening with gestures and speech.  I'm sure you notice that when you speak to friends, co-workers and family. Understandably, it can be difficult to sometimes tell if men are truly listening and easy to assume they’re not. What you need to understand, friend, is that men truly listen differently.

Men tend to focus in on key pieces of information – specifically if there are pieces of information they can put into action. They don’t always demonstrate that they’re listening in the same way that women do. It’s best to save, “Are you listening?” only for when it’s super obvious his mind has wandered or he can’t hear you. Instead, ask questions like, “What would you do in my situation?” or “Can I get your point of view on this?” to engage him and avoid the question coming across as accusatory which will immediately shut down the conversation. I'm sure you can think of times in your life where a man has said to you "yes, I AM listening!". This tends to come up with couples a lot. Just take notice that you both listen differently and neither is right or wrong. Communicate with each other on the physical or verbal cues you may need in order to know the other person is listening. Keep it simple and keep it light.

Want to learn more about men's listening styles? I highly recommend checking out my 6-part audio series - "Inside the Male Brain."

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?


5 Simple Steps to Creating Boundaries That Strengthen Your Relationship


Setting, and respecting, boundaries is key to any healthy, fulfilling and mutually rewarding relationship. Usually the need to set boundaries in relationships arises when one person or partner feels as though their needs are not being met. Boundaries can be set at any stage in a relationship, even before the first date. This may seem like overthinking things but essentially, you are teaching others how to treat you right from your first interaction. Not to worry, you are not literally saying things like "I have a boundary around you sending me a booty call text at 3am before we've even met in person." You simply establish the boundary by not responding to said text. Easy. The earlier you can establish healthy boundaries, the better. As you’ve probably already guessed, this post is all about how to do just that. So friend, keep on reading to learn the five simple steps to creating boundaries that strengthen your relationship and will lead to ultimate, mutual fulfillment. 1. Ask Yourself, “How Do I Feel? Are My Needs Being Met?” 

You may already know that you want (or need) to have a conversation with your partner about setting boundaries, but have you fully explored your own feelings and needs at this point? If the answer is no, then you’ll need to start here or your requests will come across unclear and likely difficult to take action on. Determine the feeling first. Have you been feeling drained? Exhausted? Fulfilled? Happy? Content? and what do your instincts tell you about why this is so?

Do you feel you’re giving far more than you’re receiving? What needs, be specific, do you feel are being neglected or left to the wayside? Is it attention? Appreciation? Helping with household stuff? Once you’ve fully explored and consider your own feelings and needs, it’s time to move onto step two.

2. Now, Put Yourself in Your Partner’s Shoes

Now that you’ve taken care of yourself, it’s time to put yourself in the place of your partner and complete the same exercise. Try your very best to exercise the utmost empathy and truly explore your relationship through the eyes of your partner. Look at the past six months and ask yourself, “How have I treated him? What have I done to show him my love and support? How do I imagine he feels when I do this or that?”

Try to be completely and totally honest with yourself and get as real as possible here. No doubt this is difficult, but it's very important in creating healthy partnerships. Your learnings from this exercise will help you immensely when it comes time to have the boundary discussion with your partner.

3. Consider the Setting, Language and Tone

Where and how you have a conversation is just as important as the conversation itself. This is true for every single type of relationship, and couldn’t be truer for romantic relationships. Plan to have your conversation at home in a relaxed, familiar setting where you can both be your authentic, genuine selves and healthily engage in discussion without constraints.

Allow yourself enough time to explain where it is that you are coming from, how you’d like to proceed and then your partner can do the same. Boundary setting, and respecting, is a collaborative effort and requires both of you to give it your all. Putting a level of thoughtfulness into the experience and discussion will really help with both of you feeling heard and self-expressed. At the beginning of the discussion, you can say something like, "both of our goals are to work things out and continue on in our relationship". This can diffuse any resistance.

4. Set the Boundaries

Ready for the hard part? Don’t sweat it, because it really doesn’t need to be that hard. In fact, you may find that you truly enjoy the process of setting boundaries with your partner. This is an excellent chance to really bare your soul, and have your partner bare his, and get to know each other – and each of your needs – on a whole new level.

Perhaps you’re going into this because you feel you don’t spend enough time one-on-one with each other and want to ensure you leave work at the door. Perhaps you feel that you need more alone time, or time with your friends, so that you can truly be your own person and bring a better version of yourself to your relationship. Maybe you’ll learn that your partner has felt that your relationship with your mother or siblings is affecting your relationship at home. Maybe you’ll learn that your partner’s been craving this same conversation but hadn’t known how to start it off without coming across the wrong way.

An example of the language you can use is:

"I know you don't intentionally do (action) to hurt me but when you do it, it makes me feel (feeling). What I would love instead is (action). How does that sound?" 

Whatever the scenario, I assure you that you’ll come away feeling more confident, secure and committed to your relationship.

5. Commit to the Boundaries and Stay Committed

After you and your partner have identified and committed to boundaries, you’ve got to make sure you stick with it. It may take practice and it may take time, but I encourage you to respect the relationship work that you have done and honour your partnership by keeping it going. Your happiness, needs and love life are far too important to take a back seat to life’s many other demands. Make progress your priority and just watch, you’ll see your relationship flourish like you could never have imagined.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

The Sexiest Words a Man Can Say… and Why They are So Powerful


A few weeks back I was driving in my car and listened to the radio hosts as they discussed a survey in which women selected three short words as the sexiest words a man can say. To the surprise of the hosts, and many I’m sure, they weren’t “I love you,” “You are beautiful” or (probably) any of the others that spring to mind off the bat.

The three sexiest words a man can say to his partner were decided, instead, to be “I got this.”

I find this so incredibly interesting for a couple of reasons. The first is that we often talk about how it’s the little things that really make a difference. Think of when your partner simply goes about doing the laundry or unloads the dishwasher without being asked, or when he remembers your favourite coffee and picks it up on the way home from work for you. These “small” things can truly mean a lot – much more, in fact, than singular grand gestures.

Your partner making the decision to take on something such as walking the dog, finding out which airport gate you should be headed to or hailing a taxi shows that he’s confident, capable and in control of the situation. We love this. And, in a world where women balance work, marriage, family and more, it’s so nice to know what you can count on to be taken care of by another.

Secondly, this short but powerful statement reminds us of our primal caveman/cavewoman roots where men were fundamentally the providers and women the caregivers or nurturers. While we’ve undoubtedly come a long way since the days of cavemen, we still have the exact same DNA as our early ancestors and having another 'take care of things' makes us feel good.

The power of "I got this" is the words are a statement of fact and allows for the man to shift into producing mode to deliver on his promise. These words allow the woman to fully let this task go and she genuinely finds it so attractive.

If you’re interested in reading more about the power of “I got this,” I would recommend you read this blog post over on The Good Men Project. It speaks to the effects of the three little words from a male perspective and is an interesting read!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

How to Strike up a Conversation with That Attractive Stranger


  I recently read an article on Mind Body Green that spoke about how there’s something about sitting across from an attractive stranger that makes us lose our minds. The author wrote about how someone can be the most confident, put-together person but as soon as it comes to talking to someone they find attractive they start to stumble over words, blush or just back out of the situation completely.

And, friend, it’s sort of true. I’ve seen it happen time after time and it’s something I regularly speak to my clients about. What is it about saying “hello” to that good looking guy at the coffee shop that’s really so terrifying?

In my experience, I’ve found that it comes down to two factors. The first is that you care about the outcome – the outcome that you don’t control. Striking up a chat with a gorgeous stranger is different than pitching a great idea to a client or presenting something to your boss. In those situations you sort of know what to expect and have had some time to prepare. In line waiting for your grande Americano is a whole other ball game.

The second is that you have no previous experience with this person to base your conversation off of. Are they single? Do they find youattractive? Are they funny? Easy to talk to? In a hurry? Who knows! It can be intimidating knowing where to start in a new conversation, with a new person, when it’s a total blank slate. BUT, it’s also pretty darn exciting and can potentially lead to an amazing connection. That’s why I’m challenging you to try it for yourself, even just once, so you can see how it could honestly change your dating life forever. Here’s how to do it:

1. Make Eye Contact

Yep, you’ve really just got to use your eyes and look at his for this one to work. Looking down at your phone or trying to check him out without him noticing isn’t going to get you anywhere. And, if I’m being totally honest, it could make you look a little creepy if you’re not especially skilled in covert surveillance. If you’re feeling him and want to chat, make eye contact and let him know!

2. Smile

Just like number one, this tip should be obvious but so often we forget that we have the power to make someone else smile just by doing it ourselves. A smile is warm, inviting and instantly puts the recipient at ease. Flash him a smile and open yourself up for one of you to say "hello". The worse that’ll happen is he says “hello” back and you both go on with your separate days. The best? Well, you could be swapping digits in a matter of moments and be all set up for a Thursday night date.

3. Compliment Him

Have you ever been out to dinner or at the mall when someone complimented something about you? It probably felt pretty good and made you instantly like the person even though you likely didn’t know each other. If you want the chance to speak with someone you’ve been admiring, go ahead and pay him a compliment. Something as simple as, “I really love your glasses. Do you mind me asking where they’re from?” can open the door to a great conversation. Be genuine and authentic in your compliment and deliver it with a smile.

4. Bond Over Something in Common

Again I’ll use the example of a coffee shop, but this tip works just about anywhere. Start a conversation about something you notice you have in common. Same backpack company? Same coffee? Is he holding a book you recently finished or have been dying to read? Talking about something that you have in common takes the pressure off a bit and makes the conversation about something other than him or you. Also, this is a good time to point out that you need to travel with your interests. Get those books out on the coffee table, wear that t-shirt from your favorite band or festival. Invite conversation about shared interests. Want more? Continue onto #5.

5. Try the 'ol, “Have I seen you here before?” Trick

There’s a reason why this pick up line is still one of the most popular today, and that’s because it works. Turn to him and ask, “I think I recognize you, have you been here before, your face is so familiar?” and away you go. Depending on the answer, you’ll have a few different ways to continue the conversation and things should flow naturally from there. At the very least, you will have helped yourself get past the "I don't talk to strangers and keep to myself" vibe. :)

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

How to Avoid the Texting Trap & Replace Emojis with Offline Experience



You meet someone new, exchange numbers and then the conversation strikes. This happens often – whether you first connect through an online dating site, over social media, through a friend or during a night out on the town. And, dear friend, don’t get me wrong – swapping numbers with someone you feel chemistry with is a great way to get the ball rolling. The problem really happens when that’s as far as things get. This is what a lot of people these days are referring to as the “texting trap.”

The texting trap is when text messages are exchanged, there’s some great conversation, but then things never move to the offline world. Days turn into weeks and weeks (sometimes) even turn into months – all without a real, offline face-to-face. The issue with this is that you begin to feel more and more attached to the person on the other end of the phone, but you really haven’t had any experiences with one another. So, if and when you do eventually meet, it can be difficult or even disappointing.

To help you avoid the texting trap and keep on moving in your quest for true, authentic love, I encourage you to follow this advice:

1. Use Texting for Quick Exchanges, Not Lengthy Conversation

I recently read an article in which it said, “texting is information, not conversation” and I think that point couldn’t be any truer, particularly in this context. Text messaging is a fast and efficient way to exchange information – like the address where you’ll be meeting or to confirm that you’re still on for tonight – but it’s not replacement for phone conversation or in person discussion. This is how I see it play out: either person will send a text with something like "how was your day?". This is a great way to connect if you have already met in person. However, I've seen this question/answer combo go on for weeks as a connection replacement to actually meeting in person. When he texts you asking how your day was, feel free to hit “reply” and offer a bit of info but also reference how it would be nice to meet in person or speak by phone. Continue doing this each time you hear from him/her but if weeks are going by, politely let them know you are glad you met but you'd prefer to meet in person.

2. Text as Your Authentic Self

Something I’ve noticed women doing lately is creating online (or, in this case, on the phone) alter egos. They text differently than they’d talk in real life. They often use different words, act much more playful and avoid expressing their real opinions or wants for fear of not coming across as laid back and fun.  There are two major problems with this practice. The first is that, when you do meet up offline, your authentic personality isn’t going to match up so well to the alternate persona you’ve been using in your text messages. The second is that you’re not showcasing your true, genuine self. So, the guy you’re meeting up with might end up feeling tricked or, worse, you might feel as though you have to continue the charade or even have anxiety about meeting offline because you realize you haven’t been acting yourself. And, my friend, sacrificing who you really are and what you really want is no way to kick off a new relationship.

3. Don’t Make Your Self Too Available

If you grab your phone and reply the moment you see a new text notification pop up on your screen, you’re making yourself very available. The guy on the other end (who you often haven't met in person!) is going to start expecting an immediate response from you every single time which not only sidetracks what your focus is (work, family, driving!) but I often see it lead to a bit of resentment. The problem with coming across as overly available is that the other person may begin to expect constant availability, accommodation and acceptance. You also can get addicted to the adrenaline rush that goes off every time you hear a "ping!" (did I mention this ping you are addicted to is from a guy you've never met? :)) Go ahead and answer straight away if it’s something like confirming your date for tomorrow night but be wary if he is continually trying to engage you in conversation without in-person plans.

4. Have a Deadline and Stick To It

When you meet an interesting new guy online and exchange numbers, give yourself a personal deadline. Ask yourself, “How long am I OK to stick to texting without actually speaking on the phone or setting a date to meet up?” I suggest no longer than a week and I strongly encourage you to stick with it. Avoid making excuses for him, don’t let yourself be OK with him if he should need to routinely cancel or postpone. Respect yourself and your time by holding him accountable. Does he cancel last minute or always need to “check his schedule,” and then you never wind up meeting? If so, it’s time to cut him loose and carry forward. I totally understand that life happens, people's schedules are busy and things come up but unless he is cancelling and then in the next breath suggesting a couple althernate times to meet, then just let him know he can be in touch once he knows his availability and wants to set a time. The person you truly deserve will want to make time to speak by phone and meet in person.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

4 Ways to Communicate Better in Your Relationship


Communication is the key to any healthy relationship, whether it is romantic or otherwise. The most powerful and successful Directors and Managers are those with solid communicative abilities. So, it makes a lot of sense that if strong communication can keep a Fortune 500 company running smoothly it should certainly be able to keep two people in a relationship running smoothly. Yet, it’s not always so easy. In today’s post, I want to share four ways to communicate better in your relationship that will help you get your point across without causing an argument, listen to what your partner is really trying to tell you and build a stronger relationship than ever before. I hope that as you read through these points you find ways that you might be able to work them into your own relationship and everyday life.

1. Know That Timing is Everything

When it comes to discussing anything, you need to know that timing is everything. Whether the conversation you’re hoping to have is good or bad, the right time and setting is paramount to the conversation’s success.

For example, if you want to tell your partner about how you don’t feel that you’re getting as much attention lately, you should both be at home with full bellies and should have the right amount of time set aside to discuss. Bringing up a subject that has the potential to leave one partner feeling hurt isn’t a good idea before dinner when you’ve both just gotten home from work and are probably hungry and more prone to irritability.

2. Try to Listen More Than You Speak

This one’s not always so easy to employ because, chances are, one of you is the more communicative one in the relationship and the other is more of the listener. But, taking the time to actively listen to your partner (even when you’re not having a serious discussion) will tell you so much about how they are thinking and feeling.

Truly listening and hearing your partner when they speak will help you give them what they need and, in turn, will result in them being more willing and able to give you what you need. Listening can be difficult, especially when you feel as though your opinion is the right opinion or that your partner is in the wrong, but it’s a method worth practicing.

3. Communicate the Good Stuff More Than the Bad Stuff

Do you remember the last time you had a discussion longer than five minute about something good? Or, do you only remember the last long discussion you had because it was about something that was bothering you or your partner and the talk rolled on and on? It’s important to take time to communicate the good things in your everyday life.

For example, thank your partner for making the bed or unloading the dishwasher. Take five or ten minutes to tell them how you really appreciate them and ask about what they’ve been working towards accomplishing at work. Allowing your relationship to have room for positive exchange is a healthy relationship necessity.

4. Never Go to Bed Angry

This is a piece of advice shared by nearly everyone’s grandparents at some point in life. But, it’s one of the truest pieces of advice around. It’s unhealthy to allow yourself to stew in anger, frustration and upset. Plus, going to bed angry can result in bad dreams and un-restful sleep, both of which only set you up to feel even crummier in the morning.

Try your best to work things out before hitting the hay. Use language like, “I feel” instead of “You are” or “You act”. If you’re both committed to overcoming the obstacle and communicating your way back to your healthy, happy selves then you’ll be able to achieve just that.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?

The worst question to ask


Awhile back I read a very interesting blog post that was built around the worst thing you can ask a woman you are dating or in a long term relationship with:

How was your day?

I started to think about this even before I continued reading the post, and you know what, I thought – “that’s kinda true”. When you are asked this particular question, you often don’t even know where to begin. As women, we store every detail of every occurrence in our brain somewhere so we could start anywhere! I’m sure you’ve noticed, sometimes the next thing after this question is asked is a big sigh and something along the lines of “gosh, where to I start?!”.

You see, at the end of a day, when a woman is asked “How was your day?”, she makes a choice in that moment to either divulge every detail of the highs and lows, wins and losses or scratch all of that and just say “fine, how was yours?” This may seem polite but if left at that for weeks or months, it can cause a woman to build up resentment against the question. Once a couple discovers this question is not getting the results they want, there are many ways it can be approached. One of the things you can do is have the man start to ask different questions. Warning: it’s going to feel super, super weird in the beginning but you will get hooked on the depth of the answers over awhile.

Here are some examples:

When did you feel loved today? When did you feel lonely? What did I do today that made you feel appreciated? What did I say that made you feel unnoticed? What can I do to help you right now?

Re-read my warning above because I know these might be awkward to ask at first. And no, you don’t need to ask all of these questions at once (gosh, that would be communication overload) ☺ You both need to be committed to wanting to break through that uncomfortable feeling that arises around the “How was your day?” question and realistically, you may even continue to ask that question here and there. However, you will also have the other more specific questions to balance out your communication. Some days you might even prefer a super light conversation at the end of the day and that’s what it’s there for.


If you are in a relationship, try these questions out. You may want to preface the first time with sharing a statement like, “I was thinking it would be fun and interesting to ask each other a variety of different questions when we see each other at the end of the day….” Try them out one at a time and see which one leads to the most varied answers and then keep going. If you are single, try this out on friends. You could actually use it as a bit of an experiment – you could ask “How was your day?” to one friend and one of the above questions to another friend and see what types of answers you get. It will be very interesting to see the variety in responses. Plus, this will give you practice for when you do find your lucky significant other!

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Relationship Advice for Couples Who Never Fight


Yes, it’s true, there are couples who never fight and claim they do not have any relationship problems. You may have heard of these elusive couples and picture them happily agreeing about everything and in a constant state of joy. You may still remember a conversation you had long ago with a stranger, saying, “my husband and I never fight”.

How can a couple claim to “never fight?” Well it’s not as clear cut as that. Why? Two reasons are at play here:

One, people have different views on what is defined as “fighting”.

Two, if there are zero disagreements happening, then someone in the relationship is going without what they actually need. It’s an avoidance technique, really. It’s just easier to go without a particular need then to risk a fight asking for it.

Let’s look at reason One first. I was watching a cheesy reality show the other evening and the couple was posing for a photo. The photographer remarked that it would be easier if they’d stop arguing. The wife looked at her and said, “we’re not arguing, we never argue, we’re discussing”. The husband nodded in agreement. To myself and the photographer, they were definitely fighting or at the very least in a heated disagreement. I also know of another couple whom, the way they speak to each other on a daily basis is like one-long-argument. There’s no need to fight because the level of passive aggressiveness that is exchanged on a daily basis doesn’t leave room for it. These are two examples of couples who would say, “they never fight”.

Now let’s look at reason Two. There are couples who don’t fight but that is clearly not okay with one of them. Both men and women can relate to using the “Yes, Dear” approach to potential disagreements because it’s just easier. The problem is that deep down, every time they do this they are telling themselves that they are not worth speaking up for. This is no way to live, and yet it has become their go-to peace-keeping tool. No one wins in this situation and in fact, if you are too much of a yes-woman or a yes-man, it ultimately creates an even deeper issue in the relationship.

There are many couples therapists who would almost congratulate you on having a fight or fights. They agree it’s a good thing and is important to growth in a relationship. Many couples report actually feeling closer to their partner after a big fight because the process of repairing things highlighted needs that were previously overlooked.

In no way am I saying go out and pick a fight with your partner but I do believe healthy disagreements are a good thing. You each need to be reminded now and again where your own boundaries are, as well as your partner’s. You are individuals after all who likely became fully grown adults before you laid eyes on each other so it’s important to keep that person alive within the relationship.

There are no bonus points in the relationship world for being the couple who never fights. There is such a thing as healthy disagreements and a respectful resolution. If you stick to this form of negotiating rough waters in your relationship, you will always grow and feel respected.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?