Balance

How to Find Balance in Your Relationship When You’re an Alpha Female

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Relationships are all about balance. However, that statement is one of those things that are a whole lot easier said than done when you’re an Alpha female. In a world in which a million little signs are sent every single day telling you to be powerful, confident and in control, it can be difficult to let up on the reins and allow your inner Beta to have her turn. And, my friend, I can assure you that there is nothing wrong with being a powerful, independent woman. What it means, however, is that striking balance in your romantic relationship can be a touch more challenging. As you probably know by now, that’s the topic we’ll be tackling in today’s post. Ready? Let’s go. 1. Honour His Masculine Energy

Alpha females are powerful forces. More often than not, these leading ladies wind up being “The Boss” in many areas of their lives. While this can lead to impressive accomplishments in a career, it can create challenging tensions at home. This is, quite simply, due to the two fundamental human energies – the masculine and feminine. Most men value and appreciate a confident, self-assured female partner. That said, it’s important that your male partner be given the space and permission to express his own masculine energy and Alpha qualities. What’s more important, still, is that you honour this energy and see it not as in competition with your own abilities to lead, but as an opportunity to loosen your hold on the reigns and allow your inner Beta to enjoy a little time away from the wheel.

When your partner does take his turn steering the ship, I urge you to avoid becoming a back seat driver. Steering clear of criticism, especially amongst his friends and family, is very important. There is nothing more discouraging than being encouraged to try something new or make a decision, only to then feel ridiculed or second-guessed along the way.

2. Know there is Power in The Feminine

Did you know that feminine energy is boundlessly powerful? You have the ability to make someone feel entirely at ease, accepted and loved with only your body language. You have the distinct ability to be alluring, persuasive, inviting and communicative without saying a single word. I encourage you to avoid viewing femininity as expressing weakness. Because, frankly, females are anything but.

Instead, I ask you to view your natural feminine energy and instinct for what it is – incredible, powerful and positive. You have the fundamental ability to support, nurture and honour your partner.  Your partner has the fundamental instinct to care for you, protect you and provide you comfort. If you’re having a tough day, consider leaving your “business suit” at the door and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your partner. Let him into your struggle and allow him to help make things better.

3. Nurture His Journey to Learn and Grow

As an Alpha, it may be easy to assume that you can do something better, faster or more efficiently than someone else. When it comes to your relationship with your partner, this can enter dangerous territory. While perhaps you truly are better suited to tackle a particular task, it’s important that your partner feel he has the space and permission to step up and try his hand at something new.

I urge you to keep things in perspective and understand the difference between letting your partner paint a room and encouraging your partner to rebuild your car’s transmission with zero mechanical experience. Aside from a few splatters of paint that may need to be cleaned up later, there’s really no risk in letting your man take the lead and get his DIY on. Sure, you may actually be a better painter, but does it really matter in the big picture? No. Show your support as he learns new things instead of limiting his potential by insisting you do it yourself. 

4. Be Aware of Your Ability to Impact

You are the most important person to your partner, with the most power to impact his thoughts, opinions and feelings. Chances are that he is the exact same to you. The difference is that, with an Alpha, outside influence doesn’t always reach as deep. You must remember to stay aware and conscious of your unique, and near endless, impact on your partner.

Things that may seem simple or like “no big deal” to you, such as dragging him along on a night out with a group of your friends, or making him stay at a party when he’s clearly not enjoying himself or feels tired, can have a big effect on your relationship. Respecting his interests, reading his cues and remembering that winning isn’t everything will go a long way.

5. Embrace the Spectrum

Something I read recently really stuck out to me. The author spoke of how masculine and feminine energies, as well as Alpha and Beta personalities, exist on a spectrum. While someone may exhibit more Alpha qualities than Beta, it doesn’t mean that this balance can’t or won’t shift over time. What’s more is that neither partner is truly 100% Alpha or Beta. If they were, the relationship simply wouldn’t work. If both were Alpha, nearly every interaction would be catatonic. If both were Beta, nothing would ever get done. It’s important that both partners embrace the spectrum and have the ability to amplify the two energies – masculine and feminine – that make them who they are. Welcoming this fluidity and ongoing balance is crucial to the success of your relationship!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Are You Committing These Life Coach No-No’s At Work?

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As a life coach, I often speak with my clients about achieving happiness, finding love and living a life of authenticity. Naturally, a topic that comes up quite often is that of work. For the majority of us, work is a large part of our lives. How we spend our time at the office, whether that office is away from the home or at it, impacts all other areas of our lives. If you’re looking to make the most out of all aspects of your life, including the hours spent at the office, I encourage you to read through the following list and recognize whether or not you may be committing any of these life coach no-nos. If you are, I challenge you to break the habit and begin taking strides towards greater happiness.

Not Knowing When to Ask for Help

Today’s society constantly tells people to strive for perfection. Be the most beautiful you can be. Be the smartest. Never show weakness. Never ask for help. But, in reality, life would be pretty darn miserable if we all chose to live that way – not to mention lonely! Knowing when to ask for help or when a task is beyond your immediate abilities is not only not a sign of weakness; it’s actually a sign of capability and leadership that many employers look for in employees.

When you feel you could use clarification, benefit from a helping hand or simply can’t take on additional workload – speak up. You are not only doing yourself a disservice, but are also doing a disservice to your teammates, when you live in fear of asking for help.

Not Taking Credit For Your Work

You work hard to produce high quality work and bring good ideas to the table. When you brush off your abilities or downplay your contribution, you are showing the outside world that you don’t value your contribution; and if you don’t value what you bring to the table, why should your employer or team?

Allow yourself to take credit for the work you have done. When you share a report in a meeting, use language that demonstrates you have put time and effort into creating the report. When sharing an opinion or idea, use language like “I believe I have an idea” instead of “Maybe this would work”. On the flipside, I encourage you to always own your mistakes. Accountability for both negative and positive situations is necessary for the successful running of a healthy team and will help you become the best person you can be, not only between the hours of 9-5.

Not Voicing Your Opinion

Your skills, background and mind are all reasons you were hired, so I urge you to not forget the value you bring to the table! Your opinions and ideas are valuable, so when you sit quietly through meetings or offer to take meeting minutes instead of remain an active participant in a discussion, you’re holding back.

The next time your Manager asks for your thoughts on a matter, take a moment to collect them and then share what you think. When people ask for your opinion or thoughts, they typically aren’t asking to simply be polite. They value and appreciate your mind and skills and authentically want to receive a response.

Not Praising Your Coworkers

Many workplaces foster a culture of competition. While competition can be great to encourage you to continue growing, regularly strive for higher goals and produce high results consistently – it can also make you feel like it’s you against your teammates. By allowing yourself to feel as though you’re “in it for yourself” or it’s “you against the world”, you miss out on crucial opportunities to strengthen your team, your place within the company and you end up experiencing more negative thoughts.

The next time your coworker receives recognition for a job well done, offer your sincere and authentic praise. Take a moment to thank your coworker for his or her contribution to the team and let them know that they are appreciated by you. When you remind yourself to show appreciation to others and celebrate their wins, you become a better person yourself. Plus, others will take notice of your praise and begin delivering their own – a smile is contagious and all.

Not Praising Yourself

Lastly, I want you to stop forgetting about praising yourself. Yes, you should feel grateful to have a job that allows you to support yourself when so many struggle to make ends meet. But you’ve also earned your position through hard work, dedication and the ability to produce quality ideas. In between practicing gratitude towards others, I urge you to recognize your own accomplishments, strengths and triumphs.

Praising yourself can be as easy as saying a self-affirming statement such as, “You are confident, capable and have worked hard to be where you are.” It could also be allowing yourself to swing by the grocery store and pick up your favourite dessert as a special treat. Or, it could be treating yourself to a quiet, relaxing spa day. However you choose to celebrate yourself, be sure to thoroughly enjoy it and thank yourself for the gift.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
Click Here to Get Your FREE DATE COACH STARTER KIT!